moving on.

rock bottom.

2009-06-27T22:26:00.000+08:00

fuck you stupid robbers.

2009-06-12T13:53:00.004+08:00

while playing mahjong at grandpa's house this morning, we suddenly heard kak (the maid) shouting at the back gate.

a robber had taken off with her wallet with RM20, snatched the key, and hopped onto his partner's motorbike in the back alley.. all within a split second.

mum says be thankful they didn't decide to come in and rape us or hurt grandpa.

so thank you mr robbers, for your humanity and compassion.
thank you for letting us know we should change the padlock.
thank you for reminding us that we should be more careful.
and a big FUCK YOU too, may you be punished in ways worse than death.

stupid huan kias. got hands and legs but no brains to work is it?

i spent the whole afternoon napping with dad's golf club next to the couch today.
what kind of place is this where you can't even feel safe in your own house?

chicky meal

2009-06-11T11:33:00.010+08:00

grandma used to say that hainanese should know how to cook hainanese chicken rice haha.

2 days ago, after much persuasion, i finally managed to talk mum into letting me experiment with the frozen chicken lying in our freezer.

i asked mum only, but i didn't ask dad this time. cos 2 weeks ago, he said "don't play with the chicken, only got one."
....

so my mission was hainanese chicken rice! something i've always wanted to try but never dared to, cos like dad said there's usually only one chicken in the freezer, which means i either cook it properly or screw it totally.

anyway there are many recipes off the net, they're roughly the same but it's up to you to modify. here's my version haha.

The Chicken

my first time cleaning a bloody whole chicken and it was a nightmare. chopping off the head, plucking its hair, shaving excess fats, ripping the lungs, pulling out the guts and chopping off its fingernails. by the time i got to the nails i wanted to die..

before...

after! almost after. was too disgusted to take pics after a while.

after rubbing the chicken with salt inside out, stuff the chicken with garlic and ginger.
immerse in boiling water, add a bit of salt and ginger to the water.
tip: don't forget to fold the legs into the tummy first!! if not you'll have a hard time closing the lid, like me.

tada! after 30 mins, and after chopping it up. but i made a mistake of removing too much excess fats. cos i ruined the perfectly good skin, especially with a lousy chopper.

..
..
..

which is why i didn't want to show this pic first wahaha!!! :P

The Rice
the trick is not to throw away the chicken water first, cos you'll need it for the rice and soup. but you may want to sift the chicken oil out first if you're health conscious.

scoop out a few cups to cook the rice, which should be added with some salt, smashed garlic and ginger.

tada! to make it more fragrant, leave more chicken oil inside.

The Soup

this is optional, but with a whole lot of chicken stock left, why not! haha. just boil the remaining stock with white cabbage (and carrots, fishballs, etc if you want) and add salt to taste.

what i love about the soup is the natural sweetness from the chicken!

The Chilli

kim had a great time with the chilli haha. besides ginger, chilli, garlic, you should also add some chicken oil from the original chicken stock to make it fragrant (we did that secretly haha).

blend it all in with some salt, and alot of lime to taste.
and here's a nice bowl of chilli! thanks to my sis.

together with mum's steamed fish..

a nice and simple dinner :)

i hardly ate any chicken that night tho, after the massacre. but mum and dad said it tasted good! for a first timer haha, except that my presentation failed lol.

so im the hainanese that don't look hainanese, can't speak hainanese, maybe i need to master hainanese chicken rice instead lol.

1+1≠2

2009-06-08T20:18:00.002+08:00

life is full of possibilities.
possibilities, cos we dare not pursue.
1+1≠2.
insecurity is the lack of self-confidence.
dangerous is what we may become.
morality is what i seek.
forgiveness i will get.

and to smile and let go is what i need to do.

a trip to remember

2009-06-05T15:47:00.004+08:00

whee ive finally got down to blogging bout my trip!

if you're interested on our Vietnam-Macau-HK escapade, do visit http://www.twelvedaysinparadise.blogspot.com

click on the side bar to navigate :)

we're all monsters.

2009-06-04T00:11:00.004+08:00

sometimes we re-experience distasteful moments in life, that make you realize once again what kind of person you really are.

you look into the mirror, and tell the person inside that what she did was wrong. and she says she knows, but it's easier said than done.

if only we could always look at ourselves from a rational, 3rd person's perspective.

when it's time to let go, it is time to let go.

sometimes you think you're a saint, or rather you want to be a saint. but you're only just human, and humans are always ugly-ly selfish.

so besides the different spelling, humans may very well be no different from monsters.

max-ed out.

2009-05-30T21:08:00.003+08:00

lil miss moku is back from grad trip!

just a quick update before a detailed one. a short and sweet 12 days spent in 4 different countries, i must say - it was crazy haha.

what i miss most about the trip?
the culture shocks again and again. the dirt cheap food and stuff. bargaining like aunties. trying to speak new languages. talking to the locals. the late night jim rummys. the beautiful sceneries. laughing at everything together, i swear everything was funny lol. the crazy shopping..

which really puzzles me btw. how is it that we've already hit excess baggage and no more budget, but yet there's always never enough souvenirs for everyone!? haha it always happens every trip argh. so pls pls forgive me my friends if everything seems miniature =S

ok what i don't miss about the trip...
the bed bugs at Halong Bay. even then, scratching together was pretty fun lol.

haha and here i proudly announce the best travel company so far in my entire life..
the "Best Travel Khakis" award goes to Van, Yuhao and my dearest!!
thanks guys for being ever so accomodating towards once another, even at times when things didn't go smoothly, our emotions definitely did. thanks for all the crazy laughter, and heart to heart talks..really e best time everrrrrr, thanks guys! :)

meanwhile i'm maxed out on cash, maxed out on adrenaline and maxed out on energy. so updates on another day!

post exam fun part 3

2009-05-14T14:10:00.004+08:00

reunion with the 25/04 peeps once again..at seoul garden! lol the last time i ate here was with them at tampines mall, in 2005 haha.

haha with them i'm always happy about the attendance. i can never get enough of time with them..guess JC was really the best part of my school life. though we're kinda too over-grown to look like jc kids now, but even then, i'm glad that nothing has really changed.

i miss the girls and our random chatter just about anything..sometimes gossiping about the guys, occasionally trying to avoid xuguang's wild comments, occasionally poking fun at especially peipei.
and i miss the guys with their random roaring laughter, how they build their own walls and conduct WWF in class, how eric tore RC's shirt and how they always poke fun at eric LOL.

with 25/04 there's always walker with his hairy arms, fung lik restaurant, lisa&peipei, "骗人", "suck it", trying to tickle maomao and so much more haha.

i guess apart from that, student meal used to be $9.90, now it's 14.90, lol.

pei and mao.

pinky, me, wen.

ed and shella.

zhixian about to devour luck yong.

the girls

and guys

i love the collage :)

looks like lucky obviously has some issues with xichuan haha.

i love 25/04! :)

forbidden love.

2009-05-12T16:45:00.002+08:00

being home alone is absolutely slow and b-o-r-i-n-g. and did i mention freaky?? ever since gorilla told me the story about robbers climbing through his roof argh.

anyway i know i'm slow lol, but this is what i've been doing for the past few days. haha i never really had great urge to watch/read twilight, cos i always thought it was just another a chic flick..

and now im in love with edward cullen!! and im more in love with edward cullen in the book than edward cullen in the movie, he doesn't look half as gorgeous as described in the book lol.

but i truly believe in his hearing powers, cos after i told that to myself while watching him halfway on dvd last night, the dvd player broke down this morning -_-

anyway chic flick or not, i think there's just something appealing about the whole vampire falling in love with a human thinggie..it's like the rich falling in love with the poor in Boys Before Flowers, and a guy falling for another guy in Coffee Prince.

it's this whole concept of forbidden love that is so enticingly beautiful :)

Eclipse will end tonight! though i hope i never reach the end of Breaking Dawn..

crippled.

2009-05-11T19:55:00.004+08:00

i used to be so certain that i'd never go on a diet. i was so sure tt i'd never give up food for anything in this world.

BUTTTTT..thanks to the crippled ankle, there's now no jogging, no swimming. and no walking around anywhere the whole day either, cos it hurts like crap.

thank you for punishing me, really, for now im full of remorse and regret.
haha yes, i mean it this time. and it sucks to look back asking myself questions like "why so stubborn?" or "was it worth it?"

kor says possible redemption for me would be physiotherapy.
frak. i'll think about that later.

anyway so lil miss moku is going on a diet now!
no double helpings of rice.
no supper.
no oily food.
no snacking.
when hungry, drink only low fat milk.

at least until i lose my excess 5kg (as of this morning) wahaha, wish me luck!

post exam fun cont'd

2009-05-07T17:01:00.009+08:00

been going out almost everyday in JB and s'pore..im damn tired! would really love to have a one-day break just lazing around in the house before we fly off to vietnam lol.

but i'm happy. i'm enjoying and missing the long-awaited family time, especially with kor back for these few days. and the very, very short and rare moments spent with skinz. i believe this is what is called a "long distance" relationship? =P

some random backdated shots..

celebrated Sisi's 22nd with zichar and Island Creamery.
happie birthday girl! :)
with BFG and zichar as always :)

NTUDL at sentosa!
had a great day playing volleyball and frisbee haha.
and stubborn miss moku learnt that sunblock must always be reapplied if she doesn't wanna die of skin cancer (quote her very caring brother)
oh yes btw sentosa is so damn dirty now that i wouldnt like to go there for a long, long time =S

and...

i cut my hair short! but not as short as i expected tho..
tink it's the phobia of losing too much hair at one time, especially after keeping it for 3 years. but think i'll cut it again when im back from vietnam haha.

meanwhile.. im enjoying the bouncy, bushy ponytail, but can someone tell me what to do with my ultra short fringe. and my ugly black face?
and how to start packing for grad trip?!

home sweet home

2009-04-30T09:42:00.002+08:00

lil miss moku is finally back home!

yep, really back home this time. which means there are 13 boxes of my stuff from hall lying in my living room now lol.

first let me update on what's it like here now.

this town is still crappy and unsafe, in fact getting worse. mum witnessed two robberies at the same place last week within 2 consecutive days. not the "snatch and run" kind of robberies. it's the "SMASH and run" kind. and though jack and jill are not yet officially "grown up pups", we've decided to let them roam around the house at night to watch guard.

FUK. and it's not so bad that the security here sucks. what's worse is the FOOD is starting to suck as well. in the past week i've eaten my favourite fish head curry, zichar, wantan mee, kolok mee, curry puffs, fish beehoon (we're skipping the kuay chap for now lol)...they all taste great, but i cant believe we paid RM6.50 for an XL BOWL of wantan mee, which is only normal in portion!! so i ate RM13 worth of wantan mee that day.

i guess singaporeans can still come in cos it's cheap after conversion, but dollar-to-dollar, i think it's really not worth it. especially with this dangerous situation. lol but in future when i earn sing bucks i'll make sure i come in every week to spend like a queen haha.

ok next!

been looking for a temp job from online, but it's a bit problematic since i'm still awaiting my PR..anyone got lobang? hoping to start in june after our vietnam-HK trip. that is if the trip isn't affected by the swine bug by then..even so, holidaying with a mask on my face 24/7 is not very appealing. hope this bugger disappears soon so everyone can get well!

oops ok gtg for now, more updates soon :)

post-exam fun part 1

2009-04-25T01:19:00.013+08:00

decided to organize an informal dinner with the free birdies like me haha. considering it a last min outing in the midst of exam period..the turnout was pretty good!

felt like going to bugis to pray first so i dragged ah swey with me after having lunch. we visited the new iluma shopping mall at bugis! damn it's hugeeee. a little too spacious for my liking haha, but it's nice having a new mall once in a while.

in the afternoon...

iluma @ bugis.

very unique interior design lol.

this "express" escalator goes 4 floors up!

the building's huge, but the arcade toys too??

hiao po.

he's cute!

shan't elaborate on how embarassing it was to take this picture!!! wahaha.

coffee at coffeebean after that haha.
not mine, it's swey's. i'm not a coffee fan!

and homemade style carrot cake.
_____________________________________________________

at night....

met the rest for dinner at Minang House @ lucky plaza.
haha shit i forgot to take photo of the front door lol! but here's one off the net LOL.

first time i tried such nice authentic indon food here. much much more spicy than canteen A lol.
and no, i did not eat two plates of rice.

yum.
i love the food here! esp the daun singkong and the mutton curry haha. $6 per person, not very cheap but there was drink, mutton, chicken, fish, beef and veg so i suppose it's ok.

and this was their happy soda. dunno what's inside but it was damn niceeeeee!! $3 for two. happy! :)

vietnamese can eat indon food too lol.

then we walked all the way to centrepoint, and back to heeren to waraku restaurant. since john had $20 worth of APOLOGY vouchers to use. whee!

uncle james, this is for you and you only hahaha.

kinski, me and kaNinabe!

me and my japanese yoghurt soda.

naldu being an idiot.

john being an idiot as well.

me and nam! and my beard.

there's a little egg hidden under every big egg! lol.

and all this was dessert :)
____________________________________________

even later in the night..

haha what's an outing without beer right?! lol so decided to drop by our favourite hangout at staff club! ok i shall help uncle to advertise now.

for anyone staying nearby NTU, id strongly recommend you to come here if you wanna drink beer. regular beers like asahi, heineken etc go at $5 per bottle only, and draughts go at $17.
so you can drink like 3 bottle for the price of 1 sold at outside pubs, because best of all, there's NO service charge or GST!! and e uncle's really friendly :)

me and sweyyyyyyyyy love this place to bits haha.
btw there's a whole range of other drinks from cocktails to wine too.
there's also pool table and foozball, darts, a small bar and quite a few tables. great music, lighting and it's not too noisy, nice and cosy!

2 viets + 1 indon = havoc.
the viets drink alcohol like water, and they don't get drunk.

ze girlss! :)

i'll miss them. haha, my BROTHERS :)
looking forward to sentosa next week!

loved today. and i spent $20 today only! i'm getting good at this saving crap ya.

susan you ROCK!

2009-04-24T11:14:00.002+08:00

i've heard about the 47 year old scottish obasan who sang on Britain's Got Talent. but i never realized her prowess until i saw her video yesterday.

simply incredible :)

ROCK ON SUSAN!! you almost made me cry!
and i've never seen simon so beaten before haha. he should marry her la! lol

Click here to watch her vid!

Click here to read about her.

whee!

2009-04-22T02:12:00.002+08:00

Cookapade episode 4 - dinner tonight was at Skinz&Fung kitchen! truly a great relief from all that's running through my head :)

steamed egg with chinese sausage.

Tip#1: to get a better surface that this, simmer over fire instead of using an electric steamer lol.

mango chicken
Tip#2: check that the mango is not too unripe!

vege - 小白苗
Tip#3: never overestimate vegetables. if it says 小白苗, it's really 小白苗 and nowhere near 小白菜 lol.

hope my dream of cooking good food can come true soon! =]

post exam TRAUMA.

2009-04-22T02:06:00.001+08:00

GOODBYE EXAMS!

i hope. that's if i successfully pass CBC801. was so anxious that i started marking my own paper this morning. damn, will a 65 get me an S?!?! certainly hope so especially when my 83 mark quiz was only the 30% percentile lol.

ok don't think! whee.

gotta start packing my room tomorrow to get ready to move out by 30th april. i shudder at the thought of life ahead..packing and unpacking, finding a temp job, renting a room, starting work. hard to imagine that i'm no longer a student. it's scary. i'm not ready to face the world!!

neither am i ready to really seriously live on my own! renting a room with friends is just like hall life, but i bet it's different outside school :(

well so during this 3 short years..what will i miss about NTU?
the nice and un-nice people.
can A's cheap food.
the cheap macs, subway, sakae..
can B's malay stall. can 14's western..can 4's zichar..ok i could go on and on bout the food lol.
the free beautiful swimming pool.
walking around this beautiful campus.
jogging at midnight.
using up to 3 washing machines at a time..for free.
the luxury of having clean common toilets.
waking up every morning to school and a whole lot of friends to greet and smile to.
climbing up a mountain to reach my hall 10 room.
my cosy little single room.
my personal fridge.
hanging out with cheap beer, ktv and the very nice "lao ban" at staff club.
lion dance and the stinky store room.
everyone..

and much more. haha oh man...emo. shall stop here for now.

exam welfare package.

2009-04-22T01:54:00.007+08:00

backdate to the grueling study days.
haha last week when i was really itching for some piping hot home cooked food, these came to my rescue!

hehe all thanks to skinz and his mum for the exam welfare package :)

SCREWYOUKSB!

2009-04-16T23:48:00.009+08:00

IM BORED AND STRESSED! 2 papers left, but productivity level is getting low. low. low.

right now i would love to tear up the disgustingly thick AUDITING textbook and burn the pieces one by one. screw you KSB!! screw you!! FRAK!

...

anyway since laughter is the best medicine, here's what i found in the midst of self destruction.
just for you my dear 2504 peeps!
and of cos to my dearest KWEKPEIPEILISA hope it makes you laugh till you roll on the floor :)

and this was when we grew up haha. i think? :)

i miss you guysssss!

4 days

2009-04-09T22:58:00.005+08:00

whee 4 days left till our first paper!
haha and i'm nowhere near ready. jiayou!

been studying at the old canteen a everyday for the past 2 weeks now. slowly getting used to the low budget days, and decided to lower it to $6! it's not that bad after all i guess, just need to choose the right meals haha. time to lose some fats anyway..

haix i really think i'll miss these mugging days. they're so full of purpose and direction. it's like i know where i'm going.

and once in a while there'll be one or two eye candies walking by (particularly the recent blue-eyed gorgeous exchange guys OMG) lol. and sexy girls in mini dresses and tight skirts wahaha..

and it's always fun to act like a total bimbo in exaggerating how good looking these hunks and beauties are. so then i'll hear an old, old saying with a warped expression on his face.."yala yala, everyone also you say good looking one la"..

haha. then i remember that i'm madly in love with the black-eyed pea sitting right opposite me:)

Earth Hour 2009 @ Esplande Park

2009-04-08T09:33:00.005+08:00

backdate!
28 March - Earth Hour 2009. the first time we performed for a major public event.
before this i knew nothing about this day where we switch the lights off for an hour lol.

also the first time i became Da Tou. haha see my tummy?

love the background!

our guys are all worthy of cheerleading lol.

i like this pic.

caused a commotion at Merlion Park after that, when we decided to trot over to camwhore.
haha you have no idea how much trouble we took to take this troupe photo.

that's cos most of the pictures turned out like this wahaha.
cos everyone thought we were part of some Merlion Park Come-take-photos-with-us-for-free parade

videos can be found at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sldFzVvyHCM and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isgbb37Nd3E

hungrygodie.com

2009-04-08T00:07:00.011+08:00

hello!!

HAA.

as i am typing now, i'm reading yahoo answers on How to stop being hungry all the time ---> http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080125064548AAGQdhU.
you can read it here!
today i've worked out a $7 daily expenditure budget for the next 7 weeks. $7! which got me seriously pondering today.. where the hell did all my money go to? i didn't shop, hardly went out, and i never made any donations? so it must be all the bloody FOOD i've been eating :(

i say i've not been living luxuriously. but i have!

you. cannot. imagine.

have you seen how anyone eats 2 chicken wings after a huge bowl of bak chor mee? or gobble a subway upsized meal with a bowl of noodles in an hour? or how about 2 pratas, noodles and chicken wings for supper? and snacking on 5 packets of mammee in a row?!
now you see why i'm a total sucker for buffets? :(

HAA.
hello bf! have second thoughts now?
yo moe! i'm sorry, that's where ive spent all your money on.
yo mum! i still don't want any allowance from you, not till may is over.
hey NBS! if i studied half as much as i eat, i'd be a damn dean's lister by now!

soo...what now?
there are a few options of cos..
(1) anorexia
(2) bulimia
(3) self-destruction

all of which come with immense pain and i for one am terrified of anything to do with the word PAIN...
so for now, to the after meal snacks and late night pratas, chicken wings, mutton soup, fish head noodles, bak chor mee:

GOODBYE!

thou shalt not covet :(

shit, i am too stressed.

Pek San Teng

2009-04-06T08:56:00.009+08:00

Madonna has 4 minutes to save the world, and i have 4 minutes to blog before starting work at 9!

went with swey to support cuong's performance at Bishan's Pek San Teng yesterday. and i thought qing ming in JB was crowded..it's worse in singapore! i don't wanna *choy* here..my children won't be able to find my name amongst the millions of tablets lol.

anyway the HS troupe hadn't arrived, so we started out looking like tourists snapping pics all over. i mean me la..haha swey was too embarrassed by me.

Pek San Teng's main hall.

nice!

i met Guan Yin and did some prayers.
her statue was beautiful.

met 五虎將 also..though i don't know who they are.

we saw all these beautiful 3D-like murals all over the walls.
yesterday i truly felt embarrassed that i'm so bad at chinese history. i don't even know san guo omg..
what will i teach my kids??

whee!

a small troupe, but i'm truly impressed by their unity - everyone is helping everyone.
it's also strangely the first time i've seen a troupe that doesn't portray the usual "vices" that we see..like smoking and swearing haha. was a nice environment.

saw this at many of the altars they were praying at lol. yum.

cuong (on the right) was so nervous in the beginning haha.
i was damn impressed especially by his shuang fei! and he even did it twice :)

my favourite shot of the day.

the 4 remarkable ones did many stunts.

one of the shifu or senior did caiqing. even his 醉獅 looked so realistic. beautiful.

ok what's missing here is the group pic.
was really an eye-opener yesterday, must thank cuong for inviting us down! :)

lalala ok la, that's all for escapism. so i took 30 mins!! off to study!
thinking of what to eat for lunch later simply makes me ecstatic :)

happie bday da ge!

2009-04-05T00:15:00.006+08:00

haha it's been soooooooooooooo long since BFG came out together.

zzz i ate considerably LITTLE today..haha. but although the food wasn't fantastic at Ocean Orient @ Hotel Miramar, id say the company was :)

haha thanks da ge for having your birthday at this time, cos it was a good catchup for all of us! =P it was a short time though, not enough for all of us to catch up on everything.

but nvm. to more buffets next time, and zi char too!

oh and sidetrack, i saw this squirrel on my way to my sis' school! for the Parent-Teacher session today lol. i love lumix hehe..
anyway this is the 3rd time i'm going on behalf of mum and i perfectly understand why i NEVER used to let mum come to school to meet my teachers before. never.

happie 24th da ge! :)

randomness.

2009-04-04T22:50:00.005+08:00

haha was browsing through my old music yesterday and came across this old old old song by K-Ci & JoJo..think it was about 10 years back? haha 10 years back i was still a KID, and didn't feel much for this song. but 10 years now, it makes me want to cry. i think it's just beautiful :)

And all my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

although SOMEONEeee *cough*SK*cough* says it sounds incestrous LOL, after i asked him to listen to it. cos of this particular verse:
"...close to me you're like my mother,
close to me you're like my father
close to me you're like my sister
close to me you're like my brother..."

lol. whattttttttttttttt?!?! =P

anyway if i could choose, this would definitely be one of the songs i hope to hear at my wedding! and hopefully i can hire a choir that looks like this:

so cool right!! haha :)

ok, back to study lol.

worried. and troubled.

2009-03-31T09:43:00.011+08:00

after a few consecutive xiong days of studying for the last 2 quizzes of the semester, i can't help but seriously consider doing audit as a career. the more i walk in and out of my 304/306 classes, the more i cannot imagine myself doing this crazy job.

and neither can i picture myself doing tax, or financial services, or banking, or anything to do with debit and credit. yea seriously 304/306, you can just debit my ASS-et.

haha ok, don't be so bad la.

it's just that i've really had good 3 memorable and fun years in NTU..and now it scares me to wonder what the hell have i been learning for the past 3 years? and what the hell am i gonna do with my future?

don't bother asking me what i want in life, i really still don't know. is it still normal not to know at this point of time? when i have a job "pending" (again full of uncertainties) and i'm graduating in 2 months? i'm not complaining about having a job here (or at least i think i still have the job)..but i'm doubting my ability for this job.. i don't think i can last.

i've done all sorts of temp jobs - waitressing, salesgirl, admin, teaching, tax, tuition, camp instructor, telemarketing, surveying, phonathon..and the jobs that i enjoyed the most are those with interaction and kids. if that the case, does it mean i should be a surveyor? or teacher?

haha honestly, i KNOW i'm being stupid here. it's like i know i would enjoy being a teacher better than doing audit. but a part of me cannot let go of the attractive pay raises, and the opportunity to dress in officewear, and the chance to be part of the corporate world. guess it will feel like letting go of something that i've worked so hard for during the past 3 years?

....
....
....

and my greatest worry of all? the thing that's been on my mind every time i go back home - i'm worried that with my pay as a teacher that i get in the future, will i be able to give mum and dad as good a life, compared to when i do audit? if that's the case..then i'd say i'm not afraid of working hard, doing OT..and i'm not afraid of being alone, so i'd rather go for the better paying job.

haha ah tao asked me last night, "want so much money for what??"
true, i don't think im a materialistic person..i don't care if i'm going out in t-shirt and shorts and flip flops. i don't need new clothes or expensive food. i hardly spend on anything other than my 3 meals. and supper lol.

i think i just feel responsible for earning more money.
i know how i'm like..if i choose to do something that pays less, i'll forever be blaming myself for taking that path. i know they want me to have a good life and will always support my choices, but i'll still feel like i'm letting them down..and i'll forever be thinking - i could have given them something more.

gosh, so i've said it. i've convinced myself.
SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM NOW?

...
...
...

i guess i'm afraid what if i'm less happy doing something that pays more?
the folks always tell me to just choose to "do what you like". but is it possible to also end up to "like what you do"?
is there really a choice in life? cos i hate to say it, but at this point in time amidst the stupidly lousy economy, money IS everything.

ok ms worry wart is troubled. give me 4 bottles of beer now and i'll really end up crying on your shoulder. i don't think i'll ever discuss this with mum and dad..i already know what they will tell me.

argh..maybe i just shouldn't think about anything. after all, this economy is not the best time to trial and error, is it? mr employer, pls just tell us when we're starting the damn job so i can stop thinking nonsense.

i belong here.

2009-03-25T01:57:00.010+08:00

tonight, after donkey years, i've finally come to terms with the fact that i just do NOT belong to some social circles..but it's ok, i have no energy now to worry about things beyond me. all i want now is to sleep, and study, and binge - to take my stress away.

things, or people like that just bring me down really. rock bottom.
persevere...i will make it, i will!

on a happier note, and also a conclusion to the past few entries...

courtesy from john's friend's camera.
we weren't perfect, not professional, and definitely far from the best.
and i thought i'd die seeing so many people in the audience.
but i'd say yes, we did it :)

as you can see i was nothing but amateur. actually, i thought i looked more like a bird head haha! my arms were about to give way near the end..but my tail and team were superb, thanks girls :)
and thanks everyone for your support. you know who you are :)
and lol yay, i didn't drop into the pond?

on the contrary, watch our shuai ges in this video!

oh and the surprise..

we've been through some tough times huh? lol.

thanks guys for a wonderful 3 years in NTUDL :)

i guess that's nearly it..

and having been through all that, i guess the danger lies in not having the heart to move on.

it's here.

2009-03-06T13:54:00.004+08:00

tomorrow.

although it's the first time NTUDL is taking part in our organized comp. although it's a rare occasion to see a female lion performance. although the lion and dragon will be together hand in hand. although we're working with minimum manpower. although we've put in much effort for our props..

although others may not think any of this is spectacular..

but it is! :)

haha in exactly 24 hours time, and we'll be showing the world what we've been learning for the past 3 months.

training has had its good and bad times, satisfaction and disappointment..and any of this could happen tomorrow.

but tomorrow, we will all smile and say..
yes, we did it :)

7 days.

2009-02-27T12:15:00.005+08:00

COUNTDOWNCLOCK
and my heart is beating with hope, anticipation, excitement and strangely...

guilt, regret and uncertainty.

whee!

2009-02-22T18:42:00.004+08:00

haha hello recess!
things have been good..slacking is fun. had class gathering, mahjong, and training, whee! next week shall be more training, cooking, mahjong, and err...working of cos.

hmm this stupid town is still unsafe, full of !@$#@%#& (i can't even describe it). don't come in if you don't wanna get robbed or hacked, really. but still i love my salon, and i love Brian more. haha he saved me quite a bit on my rebond yesterday..he charged RM180 again for my hair which is twice as long now. including wash rebond and trim! how is that possible?! lol.

anyway..im feeling very randomly happy now lalala. home is sweet =]

ok on a side note, it's really time to start settling grad trip..
calling out to all vietnam-macau-HK enthusiasts!

haha my friends and i (skinz, yh and i) are planning for a vietnam-macau-HK trip in April/May. viet 6-7 days, macau 1-2 days, HK 3 days. budget trip with reasonable lodging, estimated max $2K only! haha come come, esp girls. GIRLS!!!

hmm Naldu might be right...only 1 in 50 girls would really wanna go vietnam. true, vietnam doesn't seem like a place to shop...but it's full of vibrant colours, traditions, customs, and romantic hot spots! food is delicious and cheap, wine and booze are SUPER cheap. and we can even stay at good 3-4 star hotels at a cheap rate. we'll check out the street food - eels, snails, snakes, frogs, wild boar, hot pots etc (err we'll spare the dog meat ya?)... travel on trains, sleep on boats, and try communicating with the locals, it'd be an adventure!

as for macau, come satisfy your urge to gamble. win big bucks and we'll extend our trip! haha.

and for HK, need we say more? eat, shop, eat, shop, eat and SHOP! we'll rob the factory outlets, roam all night markets, whack all the dimsum and enjoy the colourful nightlife!

bring your cameras and snap away, cos the photos will definitely be b-e-a-u-tiful!

haha this will be an affordable, interesting and highly exciting trip in the midst of the current economic downturn, with excellent company LOL. hehe so pls, feel free to hop on our ship if you're interested! =]

final destination.

2009-02-08T09:16:00.074+08:00

~8th Feb 2009

last nite i went to sleep wishing so badly that i would never wake up haha. i did unfortunately..but not so bad, it was like waking up from a long and beautiful dream.

let's recap.

stepping into NTUDL is a bigggg irony. cos when i was young, i used to cry every chinese new year cos mum refused to hire the lion dance troupe that came next door. she always told me it cost "$500", and we have no money. and today, i'm the one sitting at the back of the lorry lol.

but 2 years ago i almost quit. at that time i really didn't feel any attachment or whatsoever..then slowly obligation turned into commitment, and commitment turned into passion. and here i am today not wanting to leave any of it behind.

haha. why is it it's always after relationships are forged, after learning new things about ppl, after immersing in something with all your heart, then it has to end? ok la, exaggerating! i'll be back next year, somehow.

now a walk down my (possibly) last CNY with NTUDL..

19/01/09 - International Student Centre CNY Dinner

before the ISC dinner was the Chinese Society event that same afternoon. can't imagine how we managed a 6-man show, and kinski was forced to be my tail haha! that was a two-second decision lol, but it was good.

ISC performance was a lil messy, but turned out ok in the end. short "debriefing" at the end of the day gave us a heavy heart..but hey, it's all for the good of our next few performances.

strangely didn't have pictures of lion, but honestly i prefer dragon pics!! they're more rare, colourful and sophisticated than lion.. and thanks to xiaohuang, naldu and i both love dragon instruments now haha.

simplicity in elaboration =]

21/02/09 - Dian Jing Ceremony
say hi to our two new golden babies, Peter and Pixie. haha thanks to jeremy, i believe 20 yrs down the road and i'll still remember why they're called Peter and Pixie -_-"

last minute rehearsal.

mak and i!

during the ceremony..

we do not have short legs.
we do not have short legs.

i felt..honoured? to be one of the lions for this ceremony. but before that was quite worried about whether a female lion should be doing this or not. cos felt it was kinda breaking the tradition..and being the bantang person that i am, HOR?? haha.

but we went ahead since everyone said it was ok.. i bet they lied lah haha.
nvm, Ms Bantang shall ensure that pixie doesn't go down for competitions lol.

22/01/09 - SMU
today we welcomed Da Li back with open arms! haha really miss him and his drumming. he was the one who got us this lobang from SMU. it was fun going to another uni to perform, met alot of old friends there too.

come back to us da li! =P

the view was beautiful like us haha.

Naldu and Cuong doing their thing. i think they kinda frightened the GOH though.

and today, we realized tt murni and mak look alike...

...and we also learnt how to bargain at sheng siong...

...and we found out that uncle john can be a gentleman haha.

27/01/09 - CNY Day 2
still awaiting photos.

31/01/09 - CNY Day 6
our debut appearance clad in the new red uniforms..i like! =]

introducing my errr.."brothers" lol.

i really mean it when i say eating with them is always a joy.. ALWAYS.
sometimes we end up eating packed food at the back of the flying lorry..below void decks..sitting by the roadside looking all sweaty and sticky haha.
but nobody ever complains =]

cos our VPDR will kill them if they did. hahaha.

at chingay.

haha was really glad to be part of chingay 2009 even as a calafare.
we got to see things upclose, walked with the parade behind the dragon and waved to all the audience lol. just like on TV!

but we all didn't manage to help much at their place, felt pretty bad.. we did what we could i guess.
still, chingay was pretty and we saw upclose NTU's very own Draconica =]

highlight of the day was the SK fire dragon. the coolest hottest thing!

burning..it was so hot that the uncles had to keep spraying water on the walls to prevent them from getting charred.

and still burning..

01/02/09 - CNY Day 7
today finally the dragon and lion went out together. haha it was massive!

praying at nyh in the morning before leaving. dad says this was a good shot haha.

while we were out, the dragon team loaded their stuff. wished we were wearing the same colours tho!!!
argh time to get new uniforms for all!

today, uncle john miraculously lost his phone. then he became emo john =(
so we searched high and low, between the seats, under the seats and inside the engine..but dunno wth it went to.

haha meet our young ones - the customers loved them as they brought the motionless dragon to life =]

mak and i performing our pail thinggie again at a customer's place.
haha i like this pic, cos pixie's ears are standing!

not too bad, since we didn't fall lol.

my fav performance of the day! xiaofei and ah tao did a great job whacking the sugarcane =]

entertaining the kids while they "fed" us.

took this shot on the way back..
the cool breeze was really nice against the setting sun..felt slight tinge of LDB already..

Random shots...

now this is what i really call training, together =]

meet my best partner in crime haha. he didn't complain when i was just loafing and eating fries.
my best partner in crime last year also, in ponn-ing classes lol.

and i couldn't resist putting this up again HAHAHA.

generation to generation =]

ok so CNY is (finally) over...but, cheers to a great SP ahead!

happy 22

2009-01-24T01:09:00.005+08:00

the past few days seemed like a blur haha.

dotting the new lions at nyh - performing at EDB - celebrating my early birthday..gosh it whooshed past so quickly.

but first, thank you BFG for the wonderful early-bday cum chinese new year dinner! was seriously touched by your effort, and i daresay i'm one of the lucky ones to ever receive handmade artistic angbaos! your gifts are truly the most apt, sweet and meaningful things that i've had in a long time haha, thanks guys =]

and now, i'd be hitting 22 in half an hour's time.

as i was blowing out the candles that day, it suddenly seemed pretty numb..like 22 was just "another figure" haha. felt neither very old nor very young, neither was i very excited to become a year older. after all the legal age for driving was 17, sex was 18, and RA movies was 21 right? lol.

whatever is is, i guess it's just moving on to a new stage in life again. and this time, i took the liberty to make two wishes before blowing out the candles hehe.

i'm rather sure they'll come true, cos i'm seeing it right now already =]

oh btw this morning i was pondering over how to solve a little problem, so i asked mum about it. and she said "just do it with your heart, and it'll be solved". haha cheesy ya! but i really like that alot =]

Curry Favor @ Novena

2009-01-19T15:32:00.013+08:00

it's always easy to find reasons, or rather excuses to indulge in a buffet. e.g. my early birthday celebration!! 9 days too early actually haha.

anyway been wanting to try out the buffet at Curry Favor since i saw their advert @ hungrygowhere.com. so we went last saturday before collecting our safari race pack.

i shall attempt to do a review.

featuring...

chanwanmushi.
tasty and definitely has more ingredients underneath than most other jap restaurants (some i really think use water and egg only)

baby octupus.

chasoba, pork curry, chicken curry.
their specialty is curry, and it's really good for jap curry.

pork shogayaki.

agedashi tofu.

soft shell crab - nice and crispy!
chicken karaage - tender inside and crispy outside, perfect.

chicken katsu toji - i'm not a chicken fan, but skinz says it's good hehe.

unagi - not the freshest, but not too bad considering it's a buffet.

ooo and you must look at this rare, harmless lil thing.
it comes complimentary only ONE piece with every 2 buffet lunches ordered.

tada! it's cheese katsu.
haha crispy on the outside and the hot cheese inside just melts in your mouth..heavenly.

oreo milkshake.

mochis - erm their "insides" were covered with only a thin skin, i like!
we were entitled to 4 mochis each, but as you can see they were HUGE and we were full haha, so we only ate 2 each.

didn't put up all the pictures here, but their menu consists of about 30-40 dishes? other dishes included mushroom fry, bean sprouts, edamame, ebi fry, pork belly soup etc. and drinks included homemade lemon tea, lychee cooler, rootbeer float.

so we sat from 12.30 - 3.30pm. overall i thought the quality of food was not bad, but i guess that's traded in for variety. for $22.80++, places like sakura might be better if you're looking for variety. but then again we were both too full to try some of the dishes.. so i suppose it's quite enough, if you happen to eat like us lol=]

can't remember how many buffets we've gone for in the past 2 years haha. whoever said buffets were unromantic? lol. have you tried sitting cross legged under the stars eating NASI LEMAK, dissecting chicken wings with greasy fingers? =P

saving (private) face.

2009-01-17T23:15:00.003+08:00

couldn't help but add on to pei's blog entry haha.

went with xiao shi to opposite city harvest yesterday. supposed to grab some kim zua and other praying stuff lol. but since we were there anyway, we took a lil tour.

it's not exactly THE place to buy stuff..it's a real torture bargaining with old grumpy aunties. and most old uncles have no idea what you're asking for. so i still prefer the young fruit stall uncles, although they give you more attention than you ask for lol.

anyway while walking, i decided that void deck markets are pretty interesting to roam and i might just come back again..

especially when i saw my dress (which i bought online 3 months ago) selling for $29. but cos the site had labelled it EXCLUSIVE TO ********* only, i bought it at #33 -_-"

shit, i wore that to kor's graduation la.

but i wasn't the only idiot, since they only had 3 pieces of it, there must be 2 other idiots somewhere right? oh wait..or did they lie about having 3 pieces too?

argh..nvm, i'll take the $4 as postage fee!

so i asked skinz, why is it that we're willing to spend extra money to buy the same things from bugis, orchard, or even online...but nobody is wants to shop at their void deck for clothes? i bet they sell the same stuff at pasar malams as well.

and the irony? we go to indonesia, malaysia, china, taiwan, thailand to visit their 'pasar malams' and come back bragging about our cheap steals haha.

面子 .. it's all about saving face! -_-"

2 菜 1 汤

2009-01-16T23:40:00.006+08:00

Cookapade #3 -- 2 菜 1 汤!

menu of the day was...long beans, fried fish and ABC soup!

first for our soup...removing chix fats from the bones.

probably the safest thing on the menu tonight..
LION DANCE BRAND mushroom pork balls..what a coincidence =]

and mum calls it ABC soup, cos everything from A-Z goes into the soup!

tada!

skinz putting his taekwando-aikido-wushu skills to good use.

haha ok so the chopper works better..

and all these go into the vege!

ohh yeh smells good..

tada 2!

finally..our $4.00 fish from NTUC.
stuffed with garlic to remove the smell, and rubbed with salt.

don't sputter. don't sputter.

deep fried, not exactly the healthiest choice haha.
but it does cover the fishy-ness of cheapo NTUC fish.

tada 3!

overall, both of us rate it better than our bakuteh LOL!
dinner wasn't spectacular or anything..but skinz' sis and bro both sat and ate with together with us..
and i (we) was just, flattered =]

really, what better way is there to spend a friday night =]

NAF opening - 13 Jan 2008

2009-01-16T15:11:00.008+08:00

our first welcoming of the year.

that's me and mak on the left. xiaofei and cuong on the right.

xiaofei is fei-ing lol.

rare moments.

it is further proven that we must be a dying tradition, cos the GOH walked right past us and went straight to his seat. yes uncle james and john, TODAY, i truly understand the importance of a guide.

wasn't perfect, but i think it was ok haha..i liked the whole feeling. saw newcomers playing cymbals, our "head" playing the drum, and our cymbalists playing lion. good attempt guys! hehe.

gosh friday is the 'big day'. ok i really shouldn't think..just gonna do what i can, and try my best. and i'm thankful i'm never alone..we are going to enjoy it no matter what =]

"not train hard, train SMART!" i like that haha.

btw, so meanwhile if you have nothing positive to say to me, then just don't say it.

kamisama, where are you

2009-01-13T13:34:00.006+08:00

today they slapped us in the face with some stats question. hey helloooo i thought the module is called "Assurance & Auditing"??

*PIAK*

anyway i really felt quite dumb in class haha. but just as well, it's reminding me to buck-buck-buckle up this sem.

this five-day 8.30-10.30am timetable is making me very unhealthy. brunch is too early, so i take early dinner, and after training or work im too hungry, so i eat supper.

but before i get disowned by anyone fret not, cos thanks to my recent laosai regime, i'm back to 45 again. and for the sake of my dear feny mak, i'm willing to work towards 44!! wahaha =P

was nervous at work last night, think i made a few mistakes here and there. had 1 big donation tho, but actually it's the participation rate that counts. hmm and i dunno why when i speak on the phone in a formal manner, a strange accent emerges from nowhere. hello twin sister!

working again tonight, praying for less mistakes. haha yehh not even praying for no mistakes.

things keep running through my mind recently, people have been commenting on how i stone and stare into space. and these "things" make me so tired that i've been having nightmares.

and btw a note to my dear BFG, something which i only realized this afternoon..v sorry about my ankle and the nepal trip failure =X

now i really wonder whether it's worth ill-treating my precious body the way i'm doing now.

babble babble...i think i need a NAP now.

ooo kamisamaa...
if the almighty don't issue our allowance soon, i will have officially $120 left to survive the rest of the month haha.

CHEERS!

2+2

2009-01-12T00:49:00.004+08:00

prelude to this year's chinese new year...

haha it's sooooo fun walking from city harvest to school while escorting 2 weirdos + 2 sugarcanes :)

title-less

2009-01-11T21:39:00.006+08:00

i cant think of a title for today.
it's title-less btw not tit-less!! wahaha.

today was my first 4 hour shift! it was comforting to see half the room filled with familiar faces =]

i find it extremely exhilarating just waiting for the person to connect on the other line. haha and i strangely enjoy the feeling of putting on a headset with a microphone. maybe i should buy one of those lol. haha it was a day full of rejections tho .. but for $9 per hour, i'm really not complaining.

i'll be filling in as many shifts as possible. partly cos it's my final sem, i feel old and time is running out..

when i study, i want to fully concentrate on studying.
when i work, i want to be hard at work.
when i play, i want to play till i drop.

can i?
-------------------------

anyway we officially moved kim to her hostel yesterday. kor and i have been instigating her to do this since eons ago haha. all because we thought it's time for her to grow up and experience life on her own.

yeah so i was the one dying to see her gain independence, but i never realized how worried i am till when i met her this morning.

"do you have enough money?"
"did you buy this? do you lack this?"
"is there anywhere to hang your clothes?"
"is it cold at night?"
"is your roomie human?"

and she looked at me like i was mad. but was glad to know that it's a close knit hostel, like family haha, so she says. and i told her just make sure she doesn't convert religion anytime soon lol.

i'm excited for her tho..hostel is the time to havoc with friends, find out which gates you can climb, scheme ways to skip curfew, outwit the boarding mistress and panic when you don't have enough clean panties for the next day.

my lil sista will grow up i'm sure, but not too fast i hope =]

flashback.

2009-01-10T00:58:00.006+08:00

so strange.
i was taking a nap just now it brought me back to years ago..

i still remember that crazy night. upon that call, i sneaked past security, ran to the bus stop, dashed towards the mrt station, searched high and low with him on the other line..but he wasn't there. seriously, it was year 200X.. was it THAT hard to find a particular mrt station in singapore??

haha yep, my first taste of a broken heart. it sucked!
must have been fate, or him playing the fool. but i prefer to think its the former..tho there were no explanations, no nothing.

so bochup.

well whatever..
cherish, and be cherished.
don't cherish, and you get nothing..

-----------------------------------------------------------
haha anyway, something funny happened today. sleepy me dropped the ankle guard 5 floors down. not the first time..i've done that with my brooms, mops, pails, bras, panties (can i really live in a HDB flat??) but this time it fell into the steep longkang.

so i tried climbing down the slope but it was too steep. and i decided it would be ironic to break a leg to rescue my ankle guard.

so...i grabbed my wushu stick, ran downstairs, got as close as possible to the damn thing and tried to hook it up. looking slightly less than a complete idiot -_-"
some strangers saw me from afar but didn't offer to help. but i don't blame them, they probably thought i was an underwear thief.

alassssss, after 15 mins of solo embarrassment..thanks to my good ol' dusty wushu stick, a strong handsome helpful young man, and my dirty hands which held onto his half eaten apple (sorry haha) it was saved! lol.

yeh he washed his apple right after that.
see, there are still nice ppl around to make your day =]

my body is alive.

2009-01-07T08:56:00.006+08:00

i'm cursed really. i've said this before..and now i confirm it!

everytime i complain that i'm getting fat, my body retaliates by giving me a series of diarrhoea. it must be alive! i think i'm currently on count 9 since yesterday morning.

ok but it's common for me anyway. kor claims i have hyperthyroidism, yes yes whatever doctor lim haha =P

yay i'm finally falling sick. after a hectic holiday, helloooo flu bug.
i'm not extremely happy about it but just glad that it wont bug me during chinese new year. after all, 生病是为了走更长远的路 lol.

will be working part time at the school office startng this sunday night. hopefully it'll cover half my grad trip. aja ajaa!

supersize me.

2009-01-06T22:42:00.008+08:00

within this week alone, i've gotten at least 3 comments that i look "rounder" now. haha gosh someone pls help me. looks like the 3-shit-a-day regime doesn't cancel out my massive appetite.

but..that aside for now.

met up with old friend fiona today!!! i think we first met while taking the daily public bus 12 to TJC lol. it's been so longggg..damn nice catching up today =]

princess fiona and i!

ahh. we went to Su Korean Cuisine restaurant at Far East Square, something i've been dying to go back for the 2nd time (first time was at Boat Quay). BUT I FORGOT TO TAKE PICS AGAIN! -_-"

although the food doesn't seem 100% authentic korean, but their $10++ set meal complete with a soup, fruits, main dish, rice, and 6 refillable side dishes is definitely worth it for a restaurant meal! and if you're there, try the pork collar main dish! it's my 2nd time and it hasn't failed me haha. with an additional $1 for refillable korean tea, we each spent $13.30 for a damn filling lunch. not too bad =]

but no pics sorry, too bad. i told you i'm a lousy foodie haha.

after dinner skinz and i had dessert at the newly opened 记得吃 at Jurong Point! haha like the main branch at bugis, it's not the cheapest place i would say. but their desserts are really not bad, ranging from sesame paste to mango/durian rolls. prices start from about $2.30.

table prints.

double boiled milk with mango (芒果双皮奶）- $3.80.
see we added a "twist" to the same old photography technique =P

grassjelly with longan (仙草龙眼）- $2.80.
a "different" kind of shot. haha ok i suck at this.

to be even more different, i took a shot from a DIFFERENT point of view.
haha and this is supposed to whet your appetite.

thought that was bad? how about this shot hahaha!!

oh the milk was filled with mango syrup.
was ok, but i still prefer the original flavour.

ok that's enough food for now.

stop eating. stop eating. stop eating.

new year beggars.

2009-01-05T13:33:00.007+08:00

a while ago i blogged about authentic Beggar's Chicken. well, we went there again on new year's day!

but before that, some batik painting @ Pusat Kraftangan (Craft Centre).

the entrance, looks shody but i bet they're earning tons from their batik shop.

eh?? i thought we're in malaysia lol.

this is how they make a living.

found this pretty lil thing there haha..cantik!!!

me and my raw batik.

tried the same photo-taking technique again..hahaha ok it's getting cliche i know.

hard @ work...

armed with brushes and water colour paints - almost done!

and i chose pink!
batik painting is not as hard as it seems, the outlines are made of wax so very easy to handle. the only hard part was trying to blend the colours.

haha i liked kim's one.

ok time for lunch!
the restaurant, or rather the HOUSE that sold Beggar's chicken was just down the road. haha yes, the oh-so-famous restaurant was in someone's house. lol welcome to malaysia.

and this junk truck was waiting for us right outside the house. -_-"

the fish was incredible. it LOOKS exactly like a fish, but it's actually made of some vegetarian ngo-hiong thinggie. haha cool eh?

ok sorry i was really hungry so i forgot about taking pics until halfway through lunch.
from left to right: huge duck, fake fish, and chicken remnants.

busy eating again lol.
other dishes: oatmeal prawns, ngo-hiong, tanghun, pork leg.

and finally my favourite melon soup! yumyum.
the soup is literally cooked in the melon and you can scrape the sides.

ok so i'm a lousy foodie, i only know how to eat =P i forgot to get the name and address of the place, but if you're interested do let me know! it's somewhere along Danga Bay and reservations for the dishes (yes, the ingredients have to be reserved) must be made 2 days in advance.

the whole chicken is about RM33 while the rest of the 6 dishes added up to a total RM273 meal for 11 of us. not too bad i guess?

and if you must know, the batik painting is RM15 per piece, exclusive of framing haha.

Yes Mannnnnn.

2009-01-03T13:02:00.011+08:00

i love all Jim Carrey's shows. and i rate this show 4.5 stars! -0.5 for the slightly slow beginning of the movie that's all.

"i wish you would step back from that ledge my friend.."

anyway if you've watched, this is the song (Jumper- Third Eye Blind) he used to save that suicidal guy's life. hahaha this was my fav part of the movie..can't believe the entire public and even the firemen started singing along!! wahaha really damn funny gosh..i didn't know it was a real song cos the lyrics fitted so nicely into the story lol.

and not being biased or anything, but jim carrey can really sing!! i prefer the jim carrey version.

haha i like him cos he's so crazy..he's like a rubber-faced genius who has totally lost his balls. despite his unsuccessful marriages so far, i sure wouldn't mind marrying a guy like him, he'd make me happy for a while!

yeh i'd say yes to Jim Carrey anytime =P

look i found the video clip! wahaha.

muacks 2008.

2009-01-01T01:57:00.010+08:00

and so we kissed 2008 goodbye.

in the most unhappening, unexciting, unconventional way..
but one of the best and truly US kind of date. i've been missing this for so, so long =]

making full use of our shopping experience.

last minute xmas wish @ Paragon, hopefully santa's flight back is delayed.

it took us 928375182 shots to get this right.

decided to stay away from the new year's eve crowd,
so we settled for one of BFG's favourites...

Sin Kee (新记) chicken rice @ Queenstown!
we are both ardent lovers of hawker fare hehe, nothing beats a cheap and filling meal which satisfies your sudden craving =]

personally thought this shot was pretty good wahaha. des, c'mon rate me! =P

hmmm and half a chicken was wayyyy too easy for us.....

...told you so lol.

next up! btw the iKEA hotdog bun and drink set has increased by 30cents to $2.00 now =(

havoc at anchorpoint.
it's amazing how they have all the factory outlets..G2000, Clubmarc, Giordano, Charles & Keith, FOS, Pedro...

was about to head down to Clarke Quay, but sadly my ankle gave way at around 9pm.

and our eyes gave way at 11pm, wakeying only at midnight to wish us happie new year haha.

my ankle is a bummer..but i've almost forgot how any simple day like this could be so happy and special =]

hello 2009!!

hello 2009.

2008-12-30T01:37:00.017+08:00

time to kiss 2008 goodbye!

and time for new year resolutions again, although i hardly follow up (and i don't think anyone does seriously lol).

i'm flawed in too many ways..
so this year is simple, all i wish for is to be better person.

as a student, i wanna learn as much as i can and study harder.
as a daughter and sister, i wanna be more patient.
as a friend, i wanna be there as much as i can.
as part of NTUDL, i wanna sweat my all, and enjoy the precious moments with them.

haha and finally as a gf, i have plenty to say.
but on the whole, i just wanna grow up..
i've been upset about mahjong sessions.
i've been sad about forgotten SMSes.
i've been expecting him to remember where i am, and what am i doing today.

and i've been jealous at other girls who ask him out for like shopping or movies, knowing he's already attached. i guess this jealousy is inevitable for any normal girl..that's why love is irrational haha.
cos rationally, it should be alright for any girl and any guy to go out together, right?

anyway, the thing is, i've forgotten that there exists an element of "trust" in every relationship.
that a relationship is not a burden, but a way of life that is shared between two loving individuals.
that we have forgotten that nothing is for sure, cos there may be a time to rejoice, but there also could be a time to part.
there will be need for compromises and forgiveness, but most of all, there is a need for openness and freedom, giving each other a space to breathe.

and this year, i'm really ready to grow up.
i am slowly, but surely changing my stuck-in-the-mud-folly point of view..

openness, forgiveness, compromise, and a space to breathe..
hell, we could and should even start dating other people again haha.

cos at the end of the day, what really matters most is fate, trust,
and withstanding the test of time =]

and i had a bad day.

2008-12-30T01:08:00.004+08:00

a bad day for me, mentally at least.

was nagging at everyone in the car, especially my sis. why am i so impatient with people i love? i only know how to act smart sometimes, i think i know, but actually i don't.

i'm an unforgiving freak. sometimes i dig out past stories just to remind him how they caused me to be unhappy.

i slipped many times today during training. kept falling and falling, and my heart was sinking. thanks guys for grabbing me, supporting me, and trying to fix everything nicely for me. i'm now wondering was it really due to the "new" slippery pail? i only wish i was more competent.

i don't think i'm good at cheering people up. and i'm bad at planning my life.

haven't been working hard at boggle. i awe at how i manage to blank out even after 3 years playing the same game. just shows how much effort i've been putting into it.

but i wanna pat myself on the back for being able to smile till now. i promise to stick by my principles..and never let my emotions affect you guys. i hope i keep my promise.

define love.

2008-12-26T17:16:00.004+08:00

last night someone taught me the definition of love.

love means ..
not just to be there for him/her to love you,
but also to be there when he/she needs you the most.

needs you the most means..
when he/she is certain that at that point of time, your presence is the only thing that could relieve him/her.

randomnosity.

2008-12-25T23:50:00.008+08:00

thanks to my amazing metabolic rate, i've had 5 full bucket loads of shit outta me today yeah! i dont need detox tea to detox, i just need loads of food lol.

had authentic beggar's chicken for dinner. yup those wrapped in hard clay! hope i can get the photos soon cos i'd like to show you how amazing their "oven" is. it looks exactly like a mini cemetery lol.

uncle brought drinks again today. i'm really falling in love with wines..maybe unlike beers, they're sweet and more highly intoxicating. one day i'll be ashamed at my craving for alcohol, one day haha. but meanwhile, you guys can guess what to get me on my birthday ok LOL.

hmmmm...

i know it's not yet 2009, but on a quiet night like this, it's nice to just sit and think about life.

suddenly it feels like i've so much undone at the moment..so much more to explore and experience. so many activities to try, to learn. so many things to dare myself to do. and many more people to meet and to know..

maybe after experiencing all this, we'll have a different outlook on life altogether?
maybe we'll realize that coke is actually bitter and not sweet.
girls could be from mars and males from venus.
good people could be bad people in disguise.
life could be ugly as much as it could be beautiful.
differences are meant to be common, and similarities are meant to be different.
opposites were never made to attract.
and maybe, malaysians girls were never made for singaporean guys?

haha..it's my blog, so i'm licensed to be frank.

i wonder are there people who go all out to satisfy their "what ifs"?
then again, to what extent does curiosity kill the cat?

gosh.

muackz =]

2008-12-25T17:06:00.001+08:00

HAPPIE XMAS EVERYONE!!

and indeed it's a merry one..yesterday's party was a great success, thanks to all family and friends who came =]
but as we say it every year..LET THIS BE THE LAST. preparing a bbq party for 50 ppl is shagglistic.

this year's food was great! if they say malaysia's food tastes better, i'd say its true, and MALAY food tastes even better.

this year's gifts were great too lol. how did they know i love alcohol huh?? because they brought like 6 bottles of wine and alot of beer. this year i'm smarter. i'm no longer shy about drinking to my heart's content at home, simply because it's FREE.

lunch party at aunty M's place just now, and big dinner tonight at Danga Bay. wth! its christmas and i dont care how fat i get, just for today =]

the only thing i hate about family events is that they have to end somehow.
si asked me the other day if i ever miss home..i guess i do sometimes. i start missing home when i'm at home.

ok i'm full, fat, and getting random.
back to singapore tomorrow and the busy life again.

merry xmas everyone! muackz! =]

JC week!

2008-12-20T09:43:00.035+08:00

wheee! it's a miracle i haven't died of chronic fatigue syndrome.

this crazy week's dedicated to my dearest JC peeps. i've been looking forward to this week so much that i've been imagining it over and over in my head since last week =]

Tuesday 16/12/08
met up with the wushu guys to celebrate Ah Liang's birthday at Sakae Sushi. before that was shopping with Zen. it was absolutely entertaining to see him come in and out the changing room like 7 times haha.

think there's a problem with eating with guys..i ate so much that i felt kinda sick after that. no wonder i was so fat in TJ HAHA.

haha cannot believe this guy's 21 alr. he still looks like a small boy lol.

lookin good in his new Topman shirt!

haha this is nostalgic..half the committee. from left to right: training i/c (royden), vice-pres (me), president (zen), quartermaster (ah liang)!

chilling out at TCC after dinner. this was when we jus arrived...

and this was ecstatic me after zen decided to treat us drinks!! wahaha thanks boss! =]

Wednesday 17/12/08
Lunch with XX and YY followed by mini-shopping, identities kept private and confidential for certain reasons. but if you two are reading this, i really apologize for being missing half the time wandering off to shop for my own stuff haha. yup it was fun walking up and down and around...today, i felt that small-group gatherings can be fun and meaningful, even if it's an unusual combi =]

hmm training wasn't all that smooth today, i left feeling rather sad. but everything's okay now i guess, thanks to our bosses. i'd like to think that life is full of ups and downs, and this is just one of those lil down times that will tide over in a jiffy..i have plenty of faith in everyone and we'll make it good for the year! no regrets =]

the night ended, or rather the morning began with booze and dance and club-hopping. Attica is the place to be..5 free drinks, nice music, matured crowd. at the other place there were just young (botak) boys around us, so it was more funny than fun lol. was it too dark to see our wrinkles?

i absolutely loved the company. the fact that the 3 of us were "each other's guy" that night kept us sober even after 6 drinks n 2 shots each. i would prefer having our guy friends along tho..it's not always that we can protect each other from weird ~~pinnoys~~. thanks girls ;)

i like it! i almost forgot what it feels like to totally letting my hair down in a foreign place with complete strangers, where nobody will bother or judge you, and you can almost do whatever you want =]

Thursday 18/12/08
HAPPY BIRD DAY! we really had a great time catching up. nice food and great company! =]

Friday 19/12/08
the morning began with another dreaded torture session with the sinsei..but the journey was very appreciated =] my ankle's getting much better, i can do a somersault soon wahaha.

finally the long-awaited 25/04 outing at Timbre@ The Arts House. the late me was expecting to see a rowdy crowd at city hall. but when i reached there was only a bumblebee and monkey sitting at the corner LOL. so we went for nice nasi lemak dinner.

having said that i was a lil disappointed at the last minute turnout..but it was nonetheless enjoyable!

sir stamford raffles came to watch the live band too.

nice shot ed!

see the difference between my camera...

...and ed's camera. argh i'm gonna steal it haha.

pei and i, the only two precious gems (rocks) that came.

me, birthday boy, and bumblebee!

me and my erdinger.

whee!

us trying to murder edwin with the flaming lambo.
happie 21st bird day!!

2 lobster faces, 1 monkey and 2 beauties make a great concoction.

ed getting drunk.

now you see fishie..

...now you dont.
haha this is the lucky one, the drummer, the bumble bee and the 2 beauties again.

lobster, fishie and monkey.

they were beautiful and played beautifully.

my camera again...

...and ed's camera. argh!!! lol.

overall, besides the expensive drinks, i think Timbre serves fantastic pizza and the best music. will definitely come back again! or next time we could consider buying drinks from 7-11 and joining sir stamford raffles outside lol.

the night ended with a bang. while walking to Rochor Road for tauhuey, we witnessed a NIPPLE SLIP outside raffles city. YES..omg the white tubey jus slid right off the poor girl. the guys were ecstatic haha, gosh why did this have to happen when i'm with a bunch of guys?!?! moral of the story girls? we must never overestimate ourselves.

gentleman (men) is the word of the day, and it did accompany me on a less lonely walk along the long and scary bukit timah road. thanks =]

followed by a nice comfy ride home!

Saturday 20/12/08
can't believe i met Da Ge on the mrt on my way to meet half the BFG haha. can life get anymore coincidental! lol. met up with PZ, Si, Skinz and YC at Tekka Mall@The Verge to get PZ's birthday deco.

took a leisurely stroll from Little India station to meet them, and this is what it looked like along the way.

it's so TV! i miss this kind of layout..used to see more of these shophouses when i was living at dunman. at Tekka Mall we had plenty of fun playing around with everything in the shop. i think the uncle was amused. we were amused too, cos i told him we were celebrating our 18th.

PZ left, while the rest of us had a nice chat over dessert at my all-time favourite - 记得吃 (there's one at the new Jurong Point too!).

then Skinz and i went for steamboat with Da Ge! the Chong Qing Steamboat opposite shaw house has never let me down, neither did it this time.

and together, us trio ate for 3 n a half hours non-stop. you'll never make our money boss! =P

Sunday 21/12/08
today, a pimple sprouted. haha argh, just in time for Rachel's birthday.

this vacation seems to spell much less time with 'spouse' and more time with friends. nonetheless precious=]

been trying to do things to my hair, but doesn't look like it's working haha.

met the guys at boonkeng before we took a bus to Rachel's party. it was like a massive Wushu gathering with 习武之人 from all over haha, that includes us! i miss the old days =]

rachel and i.

liang and i.

zen and i.

the early camwhores.
royden, liang, zen and me.

ghostly. catch me in The Lady in Pink.

the very busy birthday girl!

champagne

me and roy.
idiot i told zen not to take my pimple side la!

happie 21st rachel!! =]

really thank her for inviting us to her party..it was a good time to catch up even with so few of us. looking forward to the next big outing!

that pretty much sums up my crazy week..and lazy me did laundry only ONCE this week gosh. but it's worth it..this has gotta be one of the best week's of my life.

haix guess no time for blues..cos it's soon time to snap back to reality.

10 days to xmas.

2008-12-15T14:52:00.006+08:00

after much contemplation, it's decided that we'll go ahead with the xmas eve BBQ party again after all, as expected.

lol the funny thing is tt year after year, after each MASSIVE cleanup, we always pre-cancel next year's party..only to bring it back again. but i'm glad, especially since kor's rarely back with us.

i'm also very thankful for the recent stream of good news..a job, more allowance, things getting planned and things getting done. tiring, but nonetheless fruitful. gonna be hell of a busy week up ahead and i pray that i'll have enough energy to carry out and enjoy each day smoothly.

visited the cheena doctor on sat again for a 2nd torture session. i still hate doctors, but i hate my ankle more. and now i can't decide which is more painful: an injured ankle, or paying consultation fees.

i wanna be happily shopping, jogging, swimming or simply roaming somewhere..and i really, honestly, wanna give IT my all now. but it drives me nuts just KNOWING that i shouldn't.

but doesn't mean that i won't..

the bad and the ugly.

2008-12-12T09:54:00.003+08:00

i believe that in this world..

there will always be people trying to bring you down.
people who say things that hurt you, just to seek self-comfort.
people who do things to spite you out of jealousy.
people who steal boyfriends and snatch girlfriends.
people who complain and take for granted what they have.

humans are disgusting!

contented.

2008-12-11T22:28:00.004+08:00

they raised our pocket money! which came as quite a big surprise for me. yeahhhhhh no more racking my brains for finding $2 lunches for now at least. haha and kudos to me for i've amazingly survived without a wallet for almost a year. now its time to go shopping!

sometimes we worry, and sigh and sigh, but there'll always be a 贵人 to help us in the end..most of the time at least.

i'm stubborn, but i really wanna be my own 贵人 as well..hope i manage to get the phonathon job this time. more importantly, hope i have the strength to go through all of it till the exams.

to be contented is the most wonderful feeling in this world. i hope i remember how this feels like whenever i start to grumble or complain or PMS =]

back!

2008-12-11T11:41:00.006+08:00

whee i'm back from down under!
i'll update my trip in a while once i get the pictures.

so what was most memorable about my trip?
the oysters, definitely.
and kor's graduation.
and my 5-day laosai regime that made me lose weight.

but it feels good to be back to the busy life in singapore tho, maybe there's just too many things unsettled.

yesterday's training was shaggalistic. there was once when i stopped for a moment n sat down, flushed face, jus stared into space listening to my heavy panting and pumping heart. and suddenly i felt .... dejected? don't know why either..but it was definitely caused by myself.

anyway 1 week more to my PR application! i'll be half singaporean then, i think. is that good? lol no comments.

i love you!

2008-12-04T09:29:00.003+08:00

12 more hours before we board the plane!

i don't mean to be a smelly-mouth but just in case..

i really wanna tell all my loved ones, family and friends - i love you!

yes even if we have only exchanged smiles along the school corridor, in the public, chatted on MSN or FB, or said a simple "hello" before..i love you for stepping into my life. i love you! for you have made a difference and i will always remember that haha.

i love all of you!! =]

faith.

2008-12-03T10:26:00.005+08:00

if there's one thing i need from Santa this xmas, it'd be a whole basket of faith.

is there any faith selling for $20? so then i can add it to my wishlist for the JY-xmas gathering haha.

sometimes smiling everything away really works. but the biggest problem with me is i gain faith easily, yet i also lose it quickly. all it takes is a minor breakdown and i can lose it completely. i wish i didn't think so much, cos i truly believe that ignorance is a bliss. but i was born to be an idiot..i mean worry wart.

it's gonna be a really busy holiday and i don't think i have time to think about it..which is good. but it'll be back again, i'm sure.

so here i am, and i will be frantically filling up my days just to escape.

beautiful mess.

2008-12-02T15:26:00.003+08:00

been wasting the past 2 hours waiting, cos some of our timetables are in a beautiful mess lol.

just can't get enough of jason mraz! it doesn't matter if he carries kitchen knives in his luggage..he's gotta be the sexiest guy alive.

really really love the lyrics of this song, must have read it a zillion times alr..but still can't seem to put a finger to its meaning. so i checked out some forums and found my favourite version lol.

"I think this song is wonderful. Its exactly how i think everyone feels at one point or another in a relationhip. When you finally love someone enough to look at their flaws and still think they are the most wonderful person in the world."

so nice rite? haha and the last verse is my favourite. enjoy! =]

A Beautiful Mess

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shotty cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
Though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like we're picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt oh dear
Cause here we are, Here we are
Here we are [x7]
We're still here
What a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

And through timeless words, and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And times they turn, and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts
But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it.

idle.

2008-12-02T00:49:00.009+08:00

spent the entire day doing nothing constructive, very not used to it. but i'm not complaining haha. movied online, chatted, surfed aimlessly, and really suck at FB games lol.

tried a new steamed egg recipe for dinner! haha didn't taste too bad, though it looked disastrous. i'm still dreaming of the day when i'll cook a full meal for my friends haha, so i didn't dare take a picture just now=P to sum it up..too much water, too lil salt, too many pock marks and no spring onion.

oh yea and it's the 3rd time i forgot to switch on the bloody rice cooker! haha someone should make it automatic really.

hmm today, during lunch i snapped at mum for the same old thing again. sorry mum, hope you didn't take it to heart. but sometimes i really wished you'd just worry less and enjoy more..trust that we have everything under control right now, and in the future. tough times are ahead, we know, but we're your children! your seeds, your offsprings, your egg+sperms! you guys have brought us up well..now all we want is to give you both our best.

and we'll make it happen somehow, tough or no tough, so pls pls plsssssss stop worrying..
now you know why there's so many things that i-just-cannot-tell-mum. it'll contribute to her white hair.

ok nvm tok so much but she won't be reading this anyway.

argh i'm dying to start work. i wanna contribute so badly. it should be my turn to worry now, and their turn to sit back and relax.

now i type and type, and i get worried pulak. it must be in the genes..

nvm..the future will come and WE WILL BE READY FOR IT!
looking forward to our aussie trip this week. and seeing kor in his grad gown =]

love.

2008-12-01T01:12:00.010+08:00

just watched an anime on Okto channel called "The Girl who Leaped Through Time".
haha seriously thought it'd be lame at first (Okto itself sounds lame enough) but it was nice!

makes me wish i was a living fairytale too lol.

it was touching to see how two guys could love a girl so wholeheartedly, yet 3 of em being best of friends. it's not so much the storyline that caught my attention, it's more that it got me pondering about "love".

love can be so unconditional.
sometimes it can be sweet, romantic, powerful and inspiring..
yet it can be so deadly and forbidden.

how do you really know when you're in love?
how do you know if you can love a person?
how do you know when, and how to love a person?
how do you know how much you love a person?

love is about timing, because time waits for no one =)

not boys, not yet men

2008-11-30T23:30:00.005+08:00

this week, 3 of em made Boyz-to-Men.
naldu 20. xiaohuang 22. yuhao 23!

happie bird day guys! one year older, but don't really consider ya all as men yet..at least not until you grow a belly and beard lol.

saturday was BFG's first trip to the new marina barrage. its a nice place..great for camwhoring haha. complete with greenery and fresh air..kids were running freely, water splashing all over, and the sun was just beautiful. it was purrrrfect! =]

but kinda reminded us of our school's ADM building la, maybe they should consider growing flowers on the grass to differentiate themselves.

lunch was at raffles city's sushi tei, where we had fun teasing the birthday boy (with a lil bit of camwhoring before that wahaha)

our rare guest! pls don't kill me for this yc! =P

act dao buay dao..

which made us very sad.

but birthday boy was sooo happie.

yes..although it was some bad cake.

oh the anticpation..

presenting..the world's one and only multi-purpose adapter!!
works for handphone, lappie, computer, calculator, battery..

huh?? guess again!

MUST YOU TAKE SO LONG TO GUESS?!?!

whoa!!!

at the barrage..dancing cha-cha with cheekong HAHA.

james bond.

HAHAHA! i took this myself when no one was noticing.

yuhao basking with his present.

Street Fighter 4 (from left to right):
小白兔，大魔鬼，大象，老壁虎，蜘蛛精，小牛，大老鼠，大猪猪

and together, we will save the droplets, save the world!

my fav pic of the day =]

all in all, it was a great place! wouldn't mind going back there next time, probably with frisbee and a nice picnic mat.

happy randoms.

2008-11-29T09:00:00.009+08:00

the Trim & Fit regime has begun.

went jogging with charlie on the 5.5k route on thurs. haha it's been a year since my last run on this route..really thought we'd die along the SBS slope, but we made it! =] the feeling was really great, hope i'll remember this feeling when i'm feeling tired or down.

and yesterday was swimming with skinz. almost forgot what the sun feels like we dipped into the SRC pool. haha didn't swim very long, but we both got burnt -_-" damn tired after that though..maybe we're really getting old lol.

can't wait for xiao de to come back. really miss yaa!!! haha we'll go for midnight runs again.. i don't care about big calves anymore, the school's too beautiful to be missed. we'll drink like mad and try all sorts of mixers. and we'll plan many many outings for lion dance. and we'll create havoc at ntu!! =]

the feeling after exams is absolutely SHIOK! nothing much to worry about for now, just fun, fun and more fun. going home to mum, dad, kim and jack&jill (and home cooked food hehehe) tomorrow whee! 2 days but better than nothing.

the weather's perfect. looking forward to the outing later at marina barrage.

and looking forward to training next week wheeeeeeeeeeee!! =]

i pray.

2008-11-28T22:02:00.004+08:00

my heart goes out to the victims of the mumbai attacks..
to those who have sacrificed their lives for the safety of others.
to those who will forever be scarred by this horrific act..
i pray for all.

but to those who have lost all humanity, may you never ever be forgiven.

have faith.

2008-11-27T20:53:00.004+08:00

today i realized yesterday was really, silly.
i was born to be a worry wart.

but thanks ppl..it's been long since i've received such massive encouragement from all over lol. and at the right time too! thanks guys, really appreciate it =]

when NN read my palm 7 years ago, she said "you will slowly realize that you need to work so much harder than others to get what you want." i never thought much of it lol, but now i believe there's some truth in it.

but hey, she also said i would be happy, didn't she? and i choose to believe in that haha.

guess the pressure always only comes from myself. gotta stop killing my brain cells worrying about all e responsibilities, at least for now. sometimes i just really need to stop, think, and remind myself that i'm just a 21 yr old youngie trying her best. ok, almost 22 haha.

life is not always smooth sailing. sometimes we get it tougher than the rest, but surely it's nothing that we can't handle.

so if we can't get it the easy way, then do it the hard way!
and we'll get there eventually, somehow. =]

Miss Moku is very, very, very sad

2008-11-26T23:30:00.004+08:00

Miss Moku is very disappointed.

Miss Moku feeling unwanted and sad :(

Miss Moku says nobody wants her and she should go and eat some worms.

Miss Moku cannot figure out why it is like that.

Miss Moku had done her best, but it's not enough, and it never seems to be enough.

Miss Moku is very worried about her future.

Miss Moku feels lousy.

Miss Moku feels like she should have gone drinking with Peipei until she drops dead drunk.

Miss Moku is desperate.

Miss Moku needs alternatives in life...help anyone?

stand.

2008-11-21T11:54:00.003+08:00

ok this is just a form of escapism, i admittttttt.

one of my personal favourites from Jewel long ago :)
sings about life's ironies, which we are fortunately, or unfortunately will never experience here in this safe land.

Walk in a corner shop
See a shoplifting cop
See the old lady with a gun
See the hero try 2 run
Nothing's what it seems, I mean
It's not all dirty, but it's not all clean
There's children paying bills
There's monks buying thrills
There's pride for sale in magazines
There's pills for rent 2 make u clean
Marvin Gaye, there's no brother, brother
Woody Guthrie's land can't feed Mother

Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one 2 blame
For all the pain that life brings
If u will just take me It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand

A waitress brings me lunch
We meet but do not touch
On TV, D.C. is selling lies
While in the corner, King's dream dies
Go 2 the counter, pay for me and my friend
A homeless man pulls out a roll, says it's on him
The mayor has no cash
He said he spent it on hookers and hash

Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one 2 blame
For all the pain that life brings
If u will just take me It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand

U will love me, I will love u

Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one 2 blame
For all the pain that life brings
If u will just take me It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand

im dead.

2008-11-21T11:26:00.004+08:00

im in such a holiday mood.

cannot cannot, gotta fight on! no regrets!
only regression?
eh?

zzzz..
6 more days till freedom.
6 more days till the start of intensive Trim & Fit plan. (i don't do diets lol)
6 more days and i'll be lazing at the pool everyday just basking in the glorious sun.
6 more days and we'll stop seeing each other everyday. (for studying i mean =P)
6 more days and i can eat whatever i want and at anytime i want! (ok, doing that alr lol)

9 days till yuhao's 23rd bday.

14 more days and i'll be off to aussie land to visit the kangaroo aka my brother.

18 more days till gorilla's departure.

20 more days and we can start training again (and havoc after trainings!).

23 more days still des' 23rd bday.

33 more days till xmas eve and my dearest cousins again.

34 more days till xmas and the lovely turkey and my fav turkey soup wahaha.

35 more days till PZ's 21st bday chalet.

and many many more which i've missed out unintentionally..

YAY!!!!!

ok back to the books now =(

spank me.

2008-11-19T23:20:00.005+08:00

after much persuasion, today marks my first (and possibly last) visit to a chinese sinsei.

wasn't a fully pleasant trip tho..
on top of their excruciating massage treatment, they offered me great reprimanding service. the only good thing they praised me for was for my threshold for pain.
..
..
of cos la! should have seen how i was biting my nails and squeezing my arms while she drilled my foot. my physician looked like she was actually enjoying every bit of my pain.

ok but at least they did something for my foot and skinz' hand, which should have been done long ago haha. hope they'll heal soon so we don't have to go back to that torture chamber.

if you're wondering, it actually takes A LOT of persuasion to make me visit a normal doctor, let alone a chinese one. so kudos to skinz! :P

but i could still list out 1 million reasons why i hate seeing doctors:
1. they charge exorbitant prices (for services unfortunately they are the only ones offering)
2. i have total faith in my antibodies
3. i hate the smell of clinics
4. they're not usually good looking
5. they're not usually good looking
6. they're not usually good looking
...
...
just joking.

but i guess the thing i hate most about visiting doctors, is them telling me things that i already know, and i don't wanna hear.

which got me thinking about how stubborn i've been all these years.

when i was pri school, i was down with some bad virus, and the doctor told me not to drink too much water at once cos of the medicine. but while my maid wasn't looking, i carried the water jug upstairs to my bedside and drank consecutive cups of water, dunno to spite who also.
and then i puked.

during sec school, i was at home one night having a high fever but refused to see the doctor. until mum woke up to check on me and realised i was having red rashes all over, so she rushed me to hospital for a blood test at midnight. we thought it was malaria lol.

and during jc, my hostel had a stupid rule that all sick people had to report to the office so they could "mass" bring us to the clinic opposite. bloody waste of time! so i always went to school, preferring to hide in the cca room instead.

i'll never forget during uni year 1 when that 39.5 degree high fever that made me cry like a baby in front of everyone at the clinic argh. had skinz not brought me to see the doctor, i could be senile by now.

in year 2, i plucked out my first (and subsequently 2 more) wisdom tooth which was drilling a hole in my gum. the fact that i had to eat porridge for the next few days was simply irksome..so on the very night of the operation, i had boonlay nasi lemak, complete with chix wing LOL.
free hall supper mahh.

this time, it took me 2 months to visit the doctor for my injured ankle. guess im just so desperate to train hard so maybe i can perform next year. don't wanna hear the doctor say "you shouldnt do this, you cannot do that".

and my stubborness will always be the inconvenience of others..
somebody ought to spank this stubborn mule.

final destination.

2008-11-18T23:42:00.007+08:00

3 down and 1 more to go!

hmm today's 205 was....don't wanna comment. but i've prepared my best, and tried my best, so that deserves some consolation eh?

so...
am i still on fire? yes.
am i gonna study today? no!

i need a break haha so that i can refuel for tomorrow. =P

the only thing i like about exam stress is it gives me the reason to splurge on what i want (food included!) note how i use REASON, not EXCUSE lol. but really, it's proven..there's no denying it - retail therapy actually works.

anyway two bus drivers honked at me today. the 2nd driver saved me from my near-early death, while the first one...ok i shan't comment. but either way, thanks, i appreciate it HAHA.

tried the double eyelids thinggie (courtesy of lynn's recommendation)..well it works, but feels abit weird. and this is only the eyelid stage..i'm so gonna fail miserably at fake lashes next time lol. little miss moku shall just remain a geeku 8-)

skinz and i made two new friends today! one's MIA at the moment, so i shall intro this one first...

oops, apparently he did a self-intro instead. whee!

meanwhile, jiayou guys! we can do it!

final destination, here i come.

fight on.

2008-11-15T23:14:00.001+08:00

Study=Fail.

2008-11-14T17:17:00.003+08:00

suddenly remember an old saying i used to hear:

(1) Study = No Fail
(2) No Study = Fail

Eq(1) + Eq(2)

Study + No Study = No Fail + Fail
(Study) (1+No) = (Fail) (No+1)

∴ Study = Fail.

breathe.

2008-11-14T16:44:00.003+08:00

could hardly breathe while walking to SRC this morning. it felt empty, nauseating and stressful.

and seeing the huge NBS crowd upon reaching SRC..it was absolutely suffocating.

suddenly felt that the stakes were high. that with just one paper, it could determine whether we get red ink on our result slip. and thanks to this brilliant course where everyone gets the paper 1 week before the exam, i felt like i was entering a war-zone.

is it really that competitive? or is it just me?
or is it the nature of our our course?

cos this is what it feels like to me:
Results ≠ Hardwork

it feels more like:
Results = Hardwork x Luck

oh wait, forgot a very important component:
Results = Hardwork x Luck x Performance

haiz, why don't they exclude "Luck" and "Performance" in our GPA system?!?

ok, it just sucks to know that results may not be a function of hard work. but i'm not gonna stop trying! two more papers to go! and 4 more to the end of my university suffering!

hang in there, everyone!
hang in there, myself.

shit, it's so much harder to convince myself than convince others.
..
...
....
.....

anyway halfway during the paper today i found out the cause of my nausea. noooooooo i'm not pregnant. in fact it was the effects of 大姨妈! Nsync's Cry me a River could best describe my situation. can't believe i actually trudged all the way to Can A without realizing her prowess.

but nvm, i'm thankful i wasn't alone when i discovered lol. and i'm thankful for her regularity, although it deprived me (and sk) of a good lunch.

and i'm thankful...

for had i not visited the toilet before eating, i'd have stained the lovely white cushioned seats at the cafe.

and that's the reason why i had to leave guys! lol it was to spare you all the agony of watching me crying a red river.

rush hour

2008-11-11T10:24:00.004+08:00

been away from this haven for a while!! soooo many updates that i havent posted, but that'll have to wait till after 26 Nov.

just wanna say (mostly to myself) that now's not the time to hesitate. there is no time for doubt, only time for fighting hard for what we want!

cos worry and doubt is a waste of time and energy!

yes..even if i've been bleeding from the weirdest places for weeks now. i shall not worry! and i shall not think about it..time doesn't permit me to.

just hope it's nothing bad.

anyways all e best ppl! it'll be over soon.

chew chew chew.

2008-10-22T00:57:00.004+08:00

gosh i must be having wormies in my tummy. been eating incessantly for the past week!

today's lunch was yong tau fu. followed by 1 red bean bread, 1 cheese & sugar bread. dinner was 1 bowl of crispy noodles, and 1 FILLET O FISH MEALLLL. with FRIESSS mind you.

and so as i type this, i'm officially suffering from indigestion again for the third time this week. :(

strangely, it is always during these times of uncontrollable binging that i wished i was slimmer, fitter, and prettier. but as i said, the "uncontrollable" binging is surely not helping. i wished i was a stick figure really.

or maybe it's cos of the recent low tidal confidence? these days are just filled with many things, many decisions, many choices, and definitely many outcomes. i'm no longer confident in what i choose to do.

i realized that one of my greatest fears in life is..

what if one day, i stop bringing happiness to others?
it's like what if one day, i smile at someone, but he or she doesn't smile back anymore?
what if i don't even bring a tinge of joy to him or her anymore.
what would my purpose be then? to be on this earth.

ok that's reallll emo. but it seriously scares the hell outta me.

ok..right now i really need to believe in myself and stop being a wussy. i think i need to be myself and not doubt myself, who is just being me.
after all, whether or not i can make others happy..if this is me, then this is me, right?

to everyone out there..i sincerely hope that whatever i do, still does make you happy. if i ever lose this, please pretend and don't tell me.

Fusionopolis

2008-10-18T01:20:00.010+08:00

was looking forward to this the entire week!

haha skipped 301 just for this..not a good choice, but definitely worth it! never imagined that we could be part of such a huge event and really think it's an honour that we were given the opportunity to perform with the PM gracing the event. sounds silly i know, but i've really never dreamt of seeing him in real life before! wahaha so you can imagine how nervous i was.

as usual, we're always overcoming some calamities before leaving nanyang house.. like the very complicated shin guard.

i simply cannot understand the shin guards.

and by 4.40pm we were all set in our new uniforms and ready to go! i quite like the red-pink combination hehe.

more calamities..the flag broke while on the lorry and it took a ten-men team to remove it. the lorry was driving so fast!!!!

finally after surviving the heart-racing and stomach-wrenching lorry ride (thanks to Uncle James), we arrived at the Fusionopolis building. pretty huh? it's very near MOE and the Biopolis, can be seen from the mrt station too.

getting ready, *HWA*!

anyway i was seriously awed by all the techno-wackno stuff in that building. besides the robot lion, which was one of the highlights today, there were robot waiters, computerized guestbooks and a whole series of exhibitions held outside. it's amazing really, and it's happening right here in singapore.

though watching the video on how kids will give up their PSPs for holograms, doctors will provide live tours INSIDE our body, taxis will be computer operated..totally freaked me out. haha i don't wanna be replaced by robots or clones. and i want my kids to grow up playing with barbies and transformers for a few years at least.

even the "点睛" ceremony graced by the PM was done by touch-screen. and yup i saw him in real life for the first time yeah!! the President of Astar came over to chat as well..and glad we spoke to President Su too. guess fate is a funny thing, 4 years in NTU we're all leading busy lives and we might never get the opportunity to even meet, but yet our paths can cross outside one day=]

the robot lion in action. this was build by A*Star- Simtech i think. it really moves like lion dance! haha impressive, though we hope it doesnt snatch our rice bowl in future wahaha.

it danced to Usher's "Yeah" too lol. techno-clubber aye!

i heart this pic. hehe can see a bit bit of the beautiful building behind too.

and of cos, glorious food! at first we felt kinda out-of-place at a corner since we were dressed like red mafias while the rest were in suits and blazers lol. quite embarrassing too, cos today's the first time we're served food lol. but we were very well-taken care of, kudos to the Lion (organizing) team! =]

whee!

meet the new E-T that can serve drinks haha.

this is how the building looks at night.

packing up before heading home. i bought this reddish pink hair tie just to match the attire lol.

totally enjoyed myself today. the performance was a success and the entire event was a real eye-opener for us..whee! =]

jack n jill.

2008-10-17T12:19:00.005+08:00

haha mum and dad couldnt think of anything better so they named them Jack & Jill. it's not too bad, just not very "doggy" i guess haha. but certainly beats previous ideas like "Freddie & Fannie", "Hairy & Blackie" ..... -_-"

so this is Jack, and he's busy.

this is Jill, his sister.

Jill's pretty fierce.

actually they look like little piggies to me wahaha.

*sayang*!

dogs being dogs..dunno a thing about incest! still thinking of whether we should *ahem* them or not..

getting RA.

cute!

tata folks!

goodbye, Rascal.

2008-10-17T03:42:00.005+08:00

Rascal (our dog) passed away two weeks ago after being with us for 5 years. it didn't come much of a shock to us since she was already suffering from what seemed like a cancerous growth underneath her paw for rather long already.

i'd say that most of us (in JB at least) keep dogs for the sake of watching over the house when no one's around, and at night when we're asleep. in a way this means less contact with them watchdogs, since they're not inside our houses..unlike pets that serve as companionship mainly. and most of our dogs are either picked up strays, or donated from friends or relatives when they're over the "puppy stage" so we kinda build less relationships?

for me every time my dog passes away, i just regret not playing with it more while it was around..not giving it more of my time until recently when i realize they're either old or sick. really wish i had cherished more of Rascal..as mum and dad always say "she was one of the best". and i'm thankful to her for keeping everyone, especially mum and dad safe when we're not around.

anyways our neighbour got us two new dogs very quickly, guess it's too unsafe to live without dogs over there.

but this time it's different, haha cos they're both puppies. so this time we're going to be watching them grow up.. we're gonna be responsible for it's toilet training, habits, growth and development..just like children haha. and i'm excited! guess cos they're really cute and loveable.

and surprisingly, mum and dad appear to be more excited than us children. the old dog house that dad had built has been used for too long, so they bought them a nice big (ahem $200 cage) and play with them every day after work. lol it's kinda amusing watching them running after the lil ones..but i'm glad that they're gonna be good companions for them. although we got a bit jealous when mum said "our children always not home..so we spend on the dogs lor".

-_-"

haha lol it's ok, we really like them too =]

well i guess for all of us - people, animals come and go. life passes by so quickly..sometimes we should just stop to breathe it all in, and cherish the moment cos we always never what we've got till it's gone.

shall post pics in my next entry.

lalala.

2008-10-16T00:43:00.011+08:00

yay went home last weekend and ended up spending 10 hours in front of my laptop haha. but nonetheless i guess pei's right, i just need a break from life over here sometimes. had my favourite home-made meehoon kuay, topped with a scrumptious steamboat dinner. and best of all.. this week i washed no dishes, did no laundry, cleaned no room, and exploited everything to my heart's content. but the main point was, mum and dad and kim were around..and that was what i needed most last weekend i guess.

so i conclude - home's like my VILLA, and in my villa, i'm like a princess! muahaha.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok but having two days with less than 4 hours of sleep each is seriously taking a toll on my skin. thanks to endless projects. oh but 205 project's over! felt good slipping that thing under the door today wahaha. ok but i have been neglecting 301 like crazy, i've got to try harder!

gambatte.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
today was last training before breaking off for the exams. we tried the benches and table, something i never thought we'd be given a chance to do as girls, but we did! really hope ivan's not wrong about us and that we can really perform successfully next year. haha and thanks mak! for being my partner (even if you are forced to lol).

it's weird. at one point of time, even as my shirt was soaked with sweat..my heart was exploding and my legs were giving way.. and best of all, ivan said that we "NO NEED TO REST" lol.. i seriously thought i was gonna die LOL. but yet it was strangely enjoyable =]

guess i liked the way my heart was feeling - satisfied. though i know my standards, and i have so much more to improve on, so much more i've yet to learn. but i simply love this feeling of putting in my best in something..it's so rare nowadays as i get older.

hmm so how come when i feel like dying on my books, i jus die on them? lol.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

today's a very special day. but today, i neglected a certain someone for the sake of training so i shall not elaborate. i'm sorry :(

i will make it up this weekend, and maybe i'll go to the sinsei after all haha.

iLu! to be continued :)

i'm sad.

2008-10-08T23:43:00.011+08:00

i'm sad, but i can't put a finger as to why.
and the only reason why i'm wasting time blogging now is to escape from all this before i go nuts.

i should have gone for training..i think i'd feel 10 times better if i'd met them. and i didn't manage to finish what i was supposed to anyway.

it took me the entire day to confront myself and tell myself that i'm feeling this way. sometimes we get so desperate to be happy that we try so hard to convince ourselves that we're not unhappy. and sometimes there's really no reason to be unhappy..it comes out from nothing.

at times like this, im grateful to those who lend a listening ear..thanks.
and to those to whom i don't tell, i'm sorry.

i guess the reason why i don't tell people sometimes is because
1. i don't wanna look dumb being sad over nothing.
2. i don't wanna affect people. i wanna look happy in front of everyone.
3. i fear that when people say "cheer up, i know how you feel.." but deep down i know that they never will understand how i feel.

and i fear that if im frustrated, i get greedy and do things like.. why do you not seem to be putting in effort to make me feel better? can't you try harder?

so if i look lost and sad, but i tell you i'm okay, i'm really sorry for lying.

so how do i feel exactly?
a mixture of sad, stressed, tired, lonely and very hungry. and the bruises are exceptionally painful today.
doesn't make sense? really can't express it in words..

but it's the kind of feeling where..
"if mum were to call me right now, i'd break down immediately upon picking up the phone and start to sob."

i believe there are people who experience this..not many though. maybe none even in the circle of friends around me..which is why i'd rather not tell.

it's ok, i pray today's miserableness will make me really happy tomorrow..
_________________________________________________________________________

12.45am - sunshine came early! :)

my legs are shagged.

2008-10-07T22:38:00.006+08:00

i had a terrible nightmare last night, it was bad..

anyway should have gone easy on the sherpard's pie just now. 5 rounds of it and i feel very sick now bleah. why don't i ever learn my lesson?

hmmm the networking session was soso - interesting? not really. informative? maybe..but the place was definitely too crowded. haha and i guess when we're really hungry, we'd really love to have some time to eat dinner in peace lol.

on the whole we were pretty much hearing stuff that we already know, so it boils down again to our favourite question - what do we want in life?

today's networking actually made me realize something. i think we're so caught up in our own competitive world sometimes, till we overlook how lucky we actually are. cos i realize now..even as the icebergs are melting, the economy is failing, and the world is dying - we still have so many choices to choose from, so many paths to take. so why are we still complaining? hahaha i dunno, it's like asking why are we human?

nvm, that's a thought for another day and time.

today's 205 presentation was alright, not exceptionally fantastic but not that bad. and also not much questions were asked so we didn't have much of a challenge haha. but i think we put in a lot of effort! and i'm happy =)

though i did say this:

"There are 3 angles in a triangle."

...
i meant to say "the 3 angles of the triangle represents..." haha nvm no biggie, stifled some giggles that's all.

food for thought today..
what if you realize that you're not the one who can make him/her the happiest?
what if all this while, you are just depriving your other half of the chance to meet someone better than you?
how do you know he/she is "the one"?

then again, do we need to have all the answers right now?

who knows?

well i guess if your name happens to be God, feel free to drop by my tagboard lol.

don't give up.

2008-10-06T20:50:00.003+08:00

i'm taking a 5 min breather from powerpoints!

praying hard for tomorrow's presentation. exceptionally nervous this time. it's a strangely fearful yet exciting feeling haha.

anyway exams are round the corner. i can smell it!
i think this is the most appropriate time to say - DONT GIVE UP GUYS!

let's hang in there ppl, cos i can smell freedom around the corner too =]

and macs..

home seeeek.

2008-10-04T20:06:00.002+08:00

for some unfathomable reason i was hungry all night yesterday. that's after a huge bowl of noodies and a huge piece of pastry after dinner. i must be experiencing some delayed puberty lol.

anyway i woke up at 11 this morning hoping to grab a good brunch at can 11, but none of the stalls were ready. so i waited for 20 mins, STILL NOT READY. nvm so i went to can 9, and i waited another 20 mins for my noodies. gosh in total i wasted 1 hour of my life just waiting to eat my lunch..

so i was sadly hungry, tired, irritated, and i felt really home sick.

i know there are tons of others who live even further than me..but i still get home sick once in a blue moon. after all home is the place i'm fed (very well lol), i'm always comfortable, never hungry, always relaxed and happy. i reminisce the days when i would rush home to delicious piping hot home cooked food! eating bowls and bowls of rice wahaha. oh and there's always my favourite soups on the table! haha and then we would eat and chat over dinner and dessert, watch tv together, and every morning id wake up always knowing there's breakfast for me.

so really, i can never understand how some people get picky over what their parents cook - everything tastes good to me.

i guess i never really understood what they mean by "home sweet home" till i moved out. now i always get teary-eyed when i imagine how i can never look forward to "going home" after a long day's school or work anymore.

i hope when i look back at this entry in future, i'll still remember how it feels.

ok..now's definitely not the time to get teary-eyed, i have been well fed for dinner today haha.

i WILL PERSEVERE!! *VrOOM!*

on and on.

2008-10-03T00:00:00.009+08:00

i think i have insomnia.

last night was the 2nd night within 4 days that i simply couldn't sleep! tried turning in at 2.30am, felt like my body was giving way but my brain was wide awake. so i woke up after a while to work till about 5am instead. haha not that i was being productive, but the thought of spending 2 hours in bed just tossing and turning around made me even more anxious.

and then 7am really sucked.
but i still went to lecture anyway. and i survived the day! haha.

today's 205 meeting was kinda heated discussion as usual. maybe with more gunpowder today? haha but all was good in the end, mostly thanks to.. shall refer to him as PaPa J. cos i think he's calm like any other dad in this world LOL thanks PaPa J! =]

anyway personally, i'm quite glad to be the group i'm in now. it's a fresh and new experience for me (since i've been doing projects with BFG for a long time haha) no doubt discussions can get pretty fiery, but it's made me truly believe - there's always a way to solve things.

tho i don't think i'm of much help most of the time..not that i don't speak up, but more that i'm too easily influenced haha. so..i think i'm kinda like a multi-answer multiple choice question? A,B,C and D are all correct! lol.

i guess we all have different ways of approaching things. and i don't really mind heated moments (it's strangely funny sometimes haha) but sometimes, i really wished i could do something more to alleviate and help everyone come to a common consensus. the thing is, i totally suck at that i know.

but nvm, i shall work on it guys haha.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i really enjoyed today's training. it's been so long since i've sweat like that haha.

honestly when they let me play the drum just now for that short minute or so, i felt ECSTATIC! haha embarassing but true, i felt like fireworks lol. i've never really had an audience before.

learning stunts with the pail today was fun fun fun haha. all thanks to my new-found partner.. MAK! she's really amazing..she learns as fast as lightning haha and she's so good! but i'm still a bit afraid to jump or lean on her.. i scared bully you ahz mak! but i will promise to lose some weight ok lol.

i heart this feeling of learning something that i love. it's much easier than trying to love something that i can learn haha.

i predict 5 new bruises will emerge tomorrow morning on my trotters tomorrow lol. mak! it means i'm getting you some ointment too =P

b-e-a-u-tiful.

2008-10-01T23:30:00.003+08:00

it's really funny how happiness can spread.

i was browsing through FB a while ago, and i saw the pictures of the most touching proposal. haha even more touching than the one i read about at Convo this year!

i'm doing a 大惊小怪 i know i know. but this is really the first time one of MY friends is proposing haha. it's always either relatives, or friend's friend..or friend's friend's friend. and i guess that's what makes it doubly touching!

anyway, i think it was just amazing.

a perfect concoction of the car, flowers, ring, singapore flyer..and that beautifully huge, hand-made lighted-up proposal banner hanging from that faraway bridge. omg it's so crazy and surreal, i really wonder how the hell he did that haha. it must have been visible to at least a quarter of Singapore over that side!

haha actually don't know the exact story but shan't probe into it too. makes it more magical hehe. looking at the beautiful pictures - the couple, the scenery, the lightings, the gifts, the hugs and kisses and tears..the entire IDEA itself was just b-e-a-u-tiful.

ok not gonna spell out any names here haha..
but to the luckiest man and luckiest lady on earth that day - congrats from all of us! (you-know-who!) =)

new life.

2008-09-30T20:01:00.006+08:00

i'm starting a new life!

nope it's not suicide.
nope it's not a breakup.
nope i'm not getting a sex change!

haha but i did stop to smell the roses (thanks ed :P)

was staring into space today and pondering..
the past few days saw all the stress, workload, unhappiness, remorse..

and im thinking.. im really already 21, still young no doubt. but it's surely not a time to waste on momentary tears, anger and sadness?

i think that's why we're here.
to grasp every moment of happiness..
to learn that unhappiness is shortlived..
to do your best and live without regrets..
to love and appreciate what we have now..
to breathe and to just, be, aliveeee.

i think that's what life should be all about! sweet and simple.

and Miss Moku shall be smiling more from now onwards =)

remorse.

2008-09-28T12:01:00.005+08:00

been thinking about it last night..
woke up this morning with a throat full of remorse.

yesterday was like a blur. i wished everything never happened, i wished i had locked myself up in the room and threw my phone away.
but thanks people for talking online. thanks charlie for hearing me ramble. thanks naldu for calling me so that i could be part of the F1 zooming fleet haha.

thanks everyone who regained my sanity in one way or another, and thanks to someone for being understanding - something i have failed to do.

i think i've changed.

i thought love would make me more understanding and compromising.
but why is it that i have grown to expect so much more from someone i love, than anyone else?

maybe it's time to ask myself to wake up.
who am i to judge people?
who am i to hold such expectations about people?

i had dream last night.
i was busy as a bee, running around doing things. random things, but all for other people. i think that was me during my secondary and JC days (with the short hair)..and it felt great.
it felt like i was doing something good on this world..
it felt like i was giving, instead of taking.
haven't felt so in a long time..

something's wrong with me now. i want the old me back..

2008-09-27T21:52:00.002+08:00

flush me down to hell.

i'm being a moron.

but i'm not wrong, because this is who i am.
this is me.

as i said i just wanted to confirm what i already know.

i'm mean.

2008-09-27T00:44:00.012+08:00

i no longer understand why this is my blog, when i put up posts and take them down after an hour (when guilt sets in).

haha maybe i ought to close down and keep everything under wraps.

ok i think what every girl wants is simple - responsibility and security.

the truth is, i cannot picture myself with a guy whose world revolves around things like mahjong. i cannot accept it when my guy plays mahjong from 12 noon to 12 midnight.

don't be mistaken, i know i play it too sometimes. in fact, i like it!

i like hanging out with friends and family, playing and chatting, laughing at lousy tiles and smirking with good ones. i think it's great to catch up with friends, and mahjong is fun. all chinese should learn it, and all fun people should play it.

but trying to cramp like 4,5,6 pods into a single day, every single time, every single week??
and with the same people you see everyday?! (don't tell me that's called "socializing")
there's a term for it you know, it's called GAMBLING.

ok so i exaggerate a bit about the 4,5,6 pods. but so what if its 3,4,5?

1. i still don't approve of excessive gambling, especially when you're hard up and the money really doesn't belong to you. i mean, why do people still play excessively when they're broke? why can't they stop at 1 or 2 rounds?
-->responsibility 0, security 0.

2. i think forgetting an appointment tt you made earlier on, just because of a mahjong game..
-->responsibility 0, security 0.

3. i think it's totally irresponsible to say "sorry wait a while more, we're playing last wind now" when you're late and supposed to be somewhere, meeting someone or some people, at some specific time. cos regardless of who this person is, it IS common courtesy, no?
-->responsibility 0, security 0.

4. yes i feel it's irresponsible, even with a "sorry". because i don't see why a game cannot be stopped halfway when people claim it's just a game.
-->i don't like to WAIT for non-living things..makes me feel dumb.
-->responsibility 0, security 0

seriously, if people are superstitious about stopping a game halfway, then don't wear black, don't wear red undies, don't walk under ladders, don't walk over people, knock toilet doors before you enter, don't leave bits of rice on your plate.

5. If people can afford to gamble so much, i don't see why i can't drink as much too, aye?

ok i admit, i LOVE DRINKING. and when i drink and get drunk, i'm not being responsible.

maybe the only difference is i don't drink when i'm broke, and i don't forget appointments for the sake of drinking?

so i kinda picture myself 10 years down the road, cooped up in my house, listening to mahjong sounds in the next room (for the umpteenth TIME this week), while waiting impatiently to go out for dinner. and while waiting, i'd be counting the money left in the house (due to excessive gambling or drinking) and id be gulping Chivas by the bottles out of pure spite.

and this will be me.

and this will be my kids.

time's up

2008-09-26T17:09:00.023+08:00

3 days till the end of recess.

i have been relaxing too much and it is panicking the shit out of me now. i need to focus..but there are just some invisible barricades in my brain that i need to destroy first, like the urge to watch Heroes.
if i were a Hero, then i'd appear as a self-destructing monster in Season 4. KABOOM!

ok i'm stressed and STRESSED is definitely not DESSERTS spelt backwards...

pigging out.

2008-09-25T00:06:00.013+08:00

A long-awaited tuesday night pigging out session.

Chong Pang BBQ Steamboat has now moved to Turf City! from marina bay of cos.

hmm all in all, it's probably 10 times more hygenic and organized now then before, at least no kakas lurking in the nearby drains. but it's a totally different ambience, i prefer the old one. more acessible, more value-for-money, and definitely more satisfying.

so curse the IRs!! lol, i hate gambling.

anyway i daresay the variety of food has reduced by almost half, and there's no free ice cream! not even potong (or sotong). you have to pay $1-$1.50 for it now. ok but $16 nett amounted to quite a full and fun DIY dinner.

haven't tried the new Chin Huai Live BBQ steamboat at novena, so can't really make a comparison. i heard it has better food, more pricey, but without the DIY BBQ thinggie anymore.

xuguang made us all some seaweed soup. lol wen said she felt like moss growing in her tummy. the soup was BLACK, even after taking out all the seaweed -.- and no..that's not chicken wing. its the beancurd skin that couldnt enter the seaweed-dominated area.

thanks for the company guys. really miss the JC days..life was simpler back then.

right now (mellowed)

2008-09-24T13:02:00.005+08:00

PMS is a weird phenomenon.

its like a sudden wave, uncontrollable and incomprehensible.

its one of those times where you take petty offense in little things, and get hallucinations of being forgotten or de-prioritized.

and at this moment in life i really hate myself.
for being immature, temperamental, irrational..

i hope 大姨妈 visits tonight and soaks my sheets inside out..
and cries me a river so i can bleed my sins away.

she's all that

2008-09-23T13:44:00.010+08:00

was watching this the entire morning..almost forgot how i loved this movie. i bought the vcd and watched it so many times that i could memorize the dialogue!

sometimes i wished that i was an oddball like Laney Boggs. so i can have my own odd-ball-turn-princess story and maybe write a book or make a movie out of it haha.

surreal.. especially for girls who want to rekindle the fairy tale dream during your teenage :)

it's available at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfE7AuujrmI

happy!

2008-09-22T22:56:00.005+08:00

im happy for many reasons.

nothing elaborate today..just a simple monday at school. 205 meeting really went well - loved the lunchtime, and definitely love my group=] and today was strangely productive for the first day of recess.

yes tho i still curse whoever's responsible for bringing back Microsoft Visio into our lives, despite the fact that AC213 is way over!! but then again, it was pretty enjoyable doing flowcharts again.

and it was good to see shella and xg at the FAL! while whiling the day away with xiaohan haha (err exploring Facebook lol). kinda reminds me of JC days.

and it was fun squeezing big bird at Toys'R'Us too haha. and hugging elmo, shaking gundam boxes, experimenting with alien voice changers, triggering guns and rifles....

oh and i found this in my mailbox..so happyyy! hehe a postcard all the way from Amsterdam, Holland. ya i bet that woman is enjoying herself and drinking like nobody's business now..lol i miss ya xiao de!!!

then after that i came upstairs, and decided that i didn't like my fringe, so i cut it - snip snip snip.
and now i like it! i think? lol.

there it is haha, i think im actually happy for no reason! lol sweet and simple =]

right or wrong?

2008-09-21T23:53:00.009+08:00

in light of all the strangely related news all over around me recently..

so what do you do when you're torn between encouraging your friend, and telling him/her the more probable truth?
what do you do when you cant bear to discourage your friend, who is very happy doing something that you feel is wrong?
and what do you do when you see a friend suffering while fighting for what he/she wants?

most of the time, i choose to encourage them cos i want them to be happy, and then blame myself for not discouraging them when things get bad.

..
but ill never forget the time when a loved one of mine was broken hearted. it made me really hate a person whom i never even met before.

since then i always believed that in love, and in life:
1. if you don't like someone, then don't mislead him/her. we are descendents of Adam and Eve so there's always something called instinct. "i didn't know" or "i didn't see it coming" are just excuses.

2. dont make use of others, that's disgusting.

3. think responsibly..cos what you do now will always affect your future somehow.

anyway i just don't like people to get hurt. but these are just my thoughtsl, i shouldn't criticize others' decisions cos i have no right to do so. quite thankful that i don't usually say it outright and upfront..

i guess its difficult to really accept there's no right or wrong in this world?

baaa-koo-teh

2008-09-19T22:55:00.005+08:00

Cookapade #2: Bakuteh!

(featuring Skinz and Fung)

preparing the ingredients.
tip#1: NEVER allow your knife to endanger your life.

i think Skinz likes alot of Moku..hehehe

the ingredients are fairly simple and easy to prepare!

bak-kut can be found fresh at the market, or packed ones at ntuc like these.
tip #2: before starting, parboil the bak-kut to remove excess fats.

draining the excess water and fats..

preparing to dunk the spices - star anise and cinnamon sticks.
tip #3: if you're not for strong spices, 2-3 of each will do.

dump dump dump!

tip#4: check on the rice.
you never know when you might forget to switch on the rice cooker.

SKinZ with his egg-cracking..

and smoking skills!

and frying skills of cos hehe.

fast to cook, good to eat.

check on the bakuteh and add 金针菇 if desired.
tip#5: no matter how good the smell, pls REFRAIN from opening the lid again and again lol.

looks good right? ok but a bit oily, we forgot to sift out the excess oil lol.

an easy and wonderful dinner..what great start to the recess! =)

must thank skinz mum for allowing us to use the kitchen. and thank god that i didnt set it on fire lol.

think i'm falling in love with cooking. i mean, i can picture myself buying all sorts of crockery and trying all sorts of recipes in future lol. actually used to have zero faith in trying..haha but now i shudder at the thought of getting married with only the knowledge of cooking instant noodles.

well..guess that's just the problem with us girls nowadays. unlike our grandmas and mums, we're so active in other things in life that the art of cooking has become seemingly unnecessary. and i don't mean baking desserts and pastries, i mean our normal, usual chinese cooking!

i dont know..but i believe that 能吃是福, and 好吃 is an even greater 福！
so girls, think about it. cooking is an ART! hehe and definitely an added bonus for us.

stay tuned for the next Cookapade! =]

NTUDL mooncake fest 2008.

2008-09-19T22:55:00.000+08:00

mooncake celebrations felt slightly different this year. maybe partly cos im less involved now. and probably also cos of the absence of ah swey and james haha.

but nevertheless, great job guys!! hope this will be a great start to SP 2009 :)

as promised, these pics are specially uploaded for my roomie in faraway land hehe.

the gifts and prizes.

vietnamese! +1

beauties (and the beast?) =P

i like this pic! lol

outgoing 2008!our beautiful hand-painted banner

again, together as one :)

P.S. xiao de..we miss you!!!

wrong.

2008-09-18T22:00:00.008+08:00

yesterday, everything began wrongly and ended wrongly.

rushed out of my room for the 205 quiz, which i totally made the wrong choice to skip genes lecture to study for.

anyway i knew something wasn't right when those girls were giggling at the bus stop..but my pea-brain was too occupied with all the risk crap to think about it. so i went to school.. met a million ppl on the way, met a zillion more ppl in the LT..exchanged weird smiles with some. did the stupid quiz, came out demoralized, met even more ppl at the free access lab..

then my right foot was kinda itchy.
so i looked down..and to my horror, i saw this.

..
..
..
oh my fookinnnnn godness............this was not "starting out on the wrong foot", it was "starting out on the wrong slipper"!

i created history in NBS.

and so Ms Fashion Disaster had to hide her poor ugly feet from the world while walking to the bus stop.

but wait..that's not the end yet!

after lion dance, i jumped up the lorry in my usual manner.

this, was the end. and believe me when i say the end hurts like SHIT! =(

weekends.

2008-09-16T00:21:00.001+08:00

escapism setting in once again.
haha weekends! oh my, weekends are my only heaven.

happie birthday yingxin! @ KeppelBay.

happie mooncakey w BFG! @ Vivo.

i -heart- weekends =]

八月十五。

2008-09-14T08:17:00.005+08:00

happy mooncake fest! :)

touched.

2008-09-12T02:29:00.003+08:00

touched.

watched this on pei's blog as i waited for my hair to dry..brought tears to my eyes. really, really touching.

this is called Hope.

pay and pay.

2008-09-10T10:03:00.008+08:00

pay and pay.

there's a painful lumpy under my right jaw when i press on it :(

i think it's cos of this bill yesterday. staying in this single room is bloody expensive!

so if i were to scrutinize it closely and choose to complain (to myself lah):

argh, blasted overstay charges!
fcuk, why KEEPING a fridge also so expensive?!
damn, someone tell me why i should be paying $10.70 to JCRC? for nothing?? can't they deduct from the hostel fee?!

but ok lah. i'm not exactly complaining cos i'm happy i got this hall and room back.

but yes i need to wake up..really on a tight budget for now. that whole bill is almost half my pocket money, for the semester! and there's so many things in mind..grad trip especially, don't know where will i get the money from. maybe i'll have to settle for backpacking in malaysia or thailand. ALONE! lol how exciting is that.

been keeping a budget sheet. thinking of a part-time job maybe but i don't feel like jeopardizing my grades. but must say that i've been doing well at capping expenditure at less than $10 each day.

but of cos it's hard not to eat good food sometimes..and minus groceries, necessities, phone bills, birthdays etc etc. yes i know.. milo, cereal, coco pops, maggie aren't the best of solutions. but they're cheap yeah? i can fully comprehend why cancer is a common thing in today's world.

andddddd POEMS stocks challenge is a bad influence. it's giving me plenty of weird ideas about what i could do in life.

oh my, randomness.